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Belongs to: Therapist is Broken by Seether
Reminds me of when my daughter was 4 and I got stationed overseas and couldn’t take my family with me. Absolutely broken. Ended up being 2 years. I still regret it 25 years later.
Hey Friend,
I’m sure as a father that’s a knife you’ve never been able to pull out.
The resounding pain that’s been burried deep inside…25 years ago… when you couldn’t do anything about it other than surpressing it.
To live with that constant pain must have been like going through life, being there for your daughter/family, thinking about that in the back of your head.
It reminds me of the Zen Parable, Two Monks and a Woman…
A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.
The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.
Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.
The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.
Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself no longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”
The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”
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We all go through times in life that lead us to hold onto things better left “on the other side of the river” and yet we still carry them and only hurt ourselves. What are you still holding onto that is better left?
I hope this helps you put this in perspective and allow you to heal through this…so you may be able to use that energy for those you care most about.
Stay strong, brother.
We all feel pushed into a corner at times, having to make impossible decisions that while for the greater good, causes pain in the end. You have done the best that you can given what you had and knowing what you did at the time. There is no shame in that and accepting is the first step toward true freedom. Military life is hard, harder than most would ever know, but it doesn’t last forever… Things always do get better, keep your head up… Upward and onwards soldier! Don’t miss out on your current blessings because of past curses. Much love
I’m sure you have heard “thank you for your service” a 1000 and internally you thought “if you only knew what it cost me.” If you regretted it for 25 years I’m sure you have given your family 100% of what you have every day and that is what counts. Always give what you have and you will give more than most. I how you find peace and know that love overcomes all.