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Roominating

Can’t stop thinking of all my past failures. Mired in self-pitty. Drug addicted. Pain meds, sleep meds, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds. Feel dissacociated from the rest of humanity. Don’t go to NA meetings for fear of catching flu. Self-imposed forced solitude.Havent had intimacy with a woman in over 6 years. God, I wouldnt even know where to start getting back on track with that issue. Days are so long. I’m unable to work… Just tired of feeling inadequate, worthless. Always seeking instant gratification whether its from porn or spending money on a credit card. I understand life is not “easy”, but should not be so filled with inner strife and turmoil should it? Thanks for hearing this if you did.

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Hey friend,
That is a lot to be going through. You are heard. You are seen. You are not alone. Thinking about past failures is really rough. I get that. Feeling like isolating goes right along with that and self-imposing that solitude. From what it sounds like, its hard to get out of that mindset. If I may, maybe check out an online NA meeting and get some help that way. Having that extra support will help to ease disassociation and help you get on a better track. Also, check out the resources available through HS. This forum is great, but I would really hope that we can be extra support to what you’re already doing. You have taken that step to be open about your struggles here, I applaud you. Lets work together in getting you in a better place.

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