School sucks so bad

I hate sitting here. Everyday is a reminder of how worthless I am. How no one cares about me or even bothers to talk, or ask what’s wrong. I hate that all of my friends laugh and talk with me in the corner, instead of asking what’s wrong when I first started falling downhill they ignored me and accepted that this was the new me. Depressed me is the real me now, and now so much time has gone by that I can’t pull myself out of it. I’ve fallen so much deeper down and here I am at the same place everyday, listening to others be happy and not give a fuck about me. I don’t have the strength to speak, my anxiety is too horrible and why should I if no one will even tRy to talk to me in the first place. I am nothing.

Hey friend.

First of all thank you for reaching out and talking about these things to us. That alone is a big step in the right direction. You don’t have to deal with this alone anymore.

I know exactly what you’re going trough. I was alone in school a lot. I isolated myself from my friends and no one cared to ask why. No one checked on me. But the truth is, I cant blame them for it. We were all young, and dealing with our own lives, and I couldn’t expect other people to take responsibility of keeping me on board. Isolating yourself is a choice you make, whether intentionally or subconsciously. You say you have anxiety, which again I can relate to (severe soxial anxiety disorder), so I don’t blame you for isolating yourself. It’s safe, and it’s easy. But it also means you’ll be alone. And you cant expect someone else to fix that. Learning to cope with anxiety, talking to people, keeping in touch with our friends are all things we alone are responsible for. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. If you make no effort to reach out, to stay in touch with your friends, they cant know that you want them around. If you don’t communicate your part, they cant read your mind.

You’re not a lost cause. There’s no time limit to getting out of the bit of depression - people have been in there for decades and gotten better. You have hope and you have a future. You’re not worthless and you’re not out of reach for people to help you. But you need to reach out your own hand first. It’s hard. It’s scary and exhausting and it’s only the first step on a long road to recovery. But you already took that first step. You reached out to us, here on HeartSupport. And for that I’m so, so proud of you. We will help you as much as we possibly can, but what we can do is limited by the computer screen.

It might be too much right now. Maybe you really don’t have the energy to reach out to anyone right now. Trust me, I know what that’s like. But when you do, please talk to someone. Anyone. Tell someone what’s going on, tell them what you told us here. Ask for help. Because people care, and they are willing to help. They’re just too busy to notice if you don’t make some noise about it.

Make some noise. You’ll be alright, and we’ll stand right by you all the way. Hold fast. :heart:

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Thank you so much!! I’ve reached out to one friend, but all they’ve told me is that my friends care about me. But they don’t talk to me, ever… so how could they? Ive told another friend of mine what’s going on in my life, like the really bad stuff causing me to be so quiet, and they listened but then forgot about me I guess because they never really talked to me much after that. I guess there’s just something wrong with me. I’m too scared to talk and be rejected and forgotten. I feel like everyone else is able to have friends even when they’re quiet, it’s just something wrong with me. I don’t know how to put myself out there and be myself when internally I’m dealing with so much I feel like I’m dying.

@PikachuNerd ,
YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS! people do care about you look, you have people responding to your own topic here on the support wall. Depressed you is you now but wont be you in the future you have a choice to stay like this or get better and the best option is to get better because thats more healthier then being depressed all the time . find the will and strength to speak and your anxiety can be worked on . it takes time and patients. and by they way we care about you . we want you better . the truth is , YOU ARE SOMETHING YOU ARENT NOTHING . you are human , you have breath in your lungs, YOU ARE YOU. You deserve to be happy. There will always be a light to guide you threw the dark tunnel you are in .
hold fast, you are not alone Ps here is something that may help you and this song i look up to for a message when its needed . You’re Worth it - Cimorelli

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Thank you so much :heart:️ this means so much to me haha I really hope I get better in time