Identify a personal goal that you would like to reach. What are the changes you want to create in your life?
My goal is… to make friends… since my career tanked, I have been forced to enter the shelter system. where there is enormous psychological abuse and no respect for past achievements… I am looking for genuine friends. Gender, culture, nationality, religion not important… people force into the shelter system are viewed as society’s lepers. I promise you that this is not the truth. Please contact me.
Formulate your goal in a way that is specific and measurable. What does it look like when you’ve succeeded?
I will reach my goal when…
When I have genuine friends who see above the poverty and recognize the desire to participate in society…
I’m sorry you’ve been through so much adversity. It seems that you are surrounded by what is sometimes called “the walking wounded.” Such people are in desperate need of genuine friends. You seem to be very sensitive and aware of the emotional mistreatment that occurs in shelters. Sometimes it comes from staff. Sometimes it comes from others who are staying there. Some are very difficult to be friends with due to their state of mind.
I think my perspective on friendship is a bit uncommon. It is my belief that one cannot “make” a friend. They can only be recognized and acknowledged, based on their wisdom, integrity, and empathy.
Based on that rationale, I can consider you to be a genuine friend. Friendship expresses from the heart outward. That is something you can do right now, exactly where you are.
That doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be hanging out or partying with the friends you make in your current circumstances. However, the greatest value of any friendship is heart connection, even if it’s only for a day, the individuals who have connected that way will be forever changed, even if the change seems subtle. Sometimes, a slight change in perspective or hope can change the trajectory of a lifetime and also benefit countless others.
Making friends is difficult to quantify in a specific and measurable way. Even so, it may be possible to commit to a single act of goodwill, even if it’s a smile or holding a door for someone.
In this case, it may be more a matter of what it feels like. If you feel good about an interaction that occurred with another person, I think you have succeeded.