Had an argument yesterday, and I controlled my emotions and reactions during it, gave myself moments to think and breathe before responding.
But like 5-10 mins later, I felt the emotions building as I started to rehash it, and I felt myself starting to get emotional. But then a clear idea occurred to me:
“THIS is not for me to carry”.
And it was true, I had said my bit during the exchange, there was really no reason to revisit it since there was no new info or knowledge to gain. It would just be painful to relive it without any gains, so I… just… didn’t.
I Elsa’ed the crap out of it and just let it go.
And i felt my emotions shift back in to neutral and move into happy/peaceful terrain again.
It’s the first time I so clearly identified the impulse to rehash and revisit, which sometimes have the aura of “What did i do wrong here?”. It was pretty nice to avoid the emotional trap altogether, rather than have to go through the whole process of fall into emotional trap - process - rationalize and reason my way out if it - return to baseline emotion.
Lesson learnt - don’t carry things that aren’t yours (guilt, shame, pain, etc).
You can help someone lighten their burden, but don’t take it over completely and lose yourself under the burden of what isn’t yours.
Wishing you all peace inside May we all be Centered