I’m changing my boundaries
I’ve been in college for the past three months and I’m actually starting to understand what everyone has been saying about finding yourself.
I’ve been so uncomfortable around how close my family is to my college life. Like having your dad and aunt always on your instagram when your adding new friends and people
When your dad and aunt dont even know your gay
Its unsettling
Ive been so obsessed with social media- and been crushed under the weight of family excpectations
So I blocked my family that follows me and told them I got hacked and accidentally deleted my account
I’m not proud of lying but it’s literally driving me nuts
Like I love my family but I need fucking space
I also just met my crush from bumble yesterday and he’s just simply wonderful! I’m not gonna rush I just want to be friends.
For the most part I just need to be the main character of my story
Covid, Religon, Predators have all taken things from me
I need to put myself first this time with no online dependance. No fake sense of self.
I want to live. I don’t want to feel like I can’t be myself around everyone.
I hope I’m not being selfish but I literally don’t feel comfortable coming out until I feel like I have a safe space of friends I’m around all the time.
I don’t feel comfortable that people I meet for the first time can stumble easily on my dad. That triggers trauma in me.
I also hope I’m not going manic I don’t think so though I just think I feel like taking a big step in fixing myself