Shifting friendships

For the first time in years, I was surrounded by a lot of friends. I also dated someone I quite enjoyed. I am also finally getting on a good track with my career. All positive things right?
I currently have two jobs (at one point three). I quit one of my jobs which led to leaving a couple close friends. Two of my closest coworkers moved away at my current job. I also got rejected from pursing the guy I dated any further (he’s also a coworker and claimed he has commitment issues. It’s my fault for dating a coworker). I enjoyed my time with him as we shared such a great passion for our job. Things are now just awkward and we don’t talk anymore.
I currently feel like the oddball at work. I get along with my coworkers quite well but it’s hard to fully be myself. With the friends who moved, I felt like I could be fully me with no judgement. I moved to this city two and a half years ago and was so excited to finally have friends…only for them to leave. I’m happy for them to start new journeys and yes I know I can simply call or message them. Or schedule visits. But it’s not the same. It’s not the same as coming into work and making the day happen together. Or to successfully complete a project with them. I feel as though I’m by myself. I love my job so I do feel satisfied with my work. It’s just nice to have more people to share it with.
I keep telling myself friends come and go. I also keep telling myself that this is a great time to focus on my career since I’ve only been at this current place for a year and a half. But I do feel sad. I want to find friends but I know it doesn’t happen right away. You can’t force friendships to happen. But I wish I had something constant.


I like your perspective about shifting friendships. That is usually what happens. I’ve lost contact with almost everyone I ever knew. I still have a couple of good friends, and don’t feel that I need any more.

When you came to your job, in all likelihood, everyone was a stranger. I suspect it took you a while before feeling comfortable and making friends. You may have approached those who seemed comfortable, kind and outgoing. Now you are in a position to be that kind of person for someone else.

It also sounds like both you and those friends who moved away, would benefit from staying in touch.