Im 13 years old. I’m fat, ugly, and dumb. I love the school year but hate summer because in summer I have 24 hours at my house which means 24 hours of wanting to die. At my school I have great friend and I feel fine except for the fact that my best friend is skinny, rich, and smart. Basically perfect unlike me. Every summer is the same, i become a burden to my entire family. I feel useless. I am" catholic", I’m not sure I even believe in god anymore because god wouldn’t make a mistake and he sure did make a mistake in creating me. They say everyone has a purpose but I sure don’t have one. Unless I’m destined to never succeed. I have excoriation which is basically that I pick my skin constantly that sometimes I don’t even remember doing it in the first place. I have had it for 3 years on my fingers . My parents don’t know. Most times I keep peeling of my skin till I bleed. My mom complains about my weight telling me i’m fat and I have to lose weight unless I want to suffer my entire life. Which has already started. Im afraid of heights. I found this website and thought it could help me. I cry myself to sleep every night. My parents don’t have much money so I live in an apartment. I keep everything to myself. Not to mention I have bigger boobs than im supposed to have for my age I kids at my school look at me weird and tease me. Help me if you can please.
hello dear (i’m not really good in english but i wiil try my best). i think your not a burden as you think you are you’re only 13, your age should focus on studies and love your family and having friends and enjoying life. your young, and if you think because of your body that makes you lose confidence then why not start loving yourself first, it’s not to late for you. me as a mother i think it’s only normal to tell my kids to lose weight because we love you and we’re concern about your health. about your friend i’ll tell you my situation think positive (count your blessings as they say), my friends are rich they have everything they don’t need to worry about everything bills foods travel… me sometimes we end up no electricity. sometimes i don’t know what to cook for my kids but they understand that we have no money to buy groceries. now i’m sick no money i can’t even go to the doctor but i think that’s life we have our ups and downs but i pray i believe in god! we all have problems. so i think you should live! love life! love god! i’m sorry if i’m not good in explaining i wish you understand me.
Hello my sweet, Sarahcs,
I am so glad you’re here and I’m so glad you’ve shared this. I hope leaving your thoughts here has helped make things a little lighter…
I wanted to reach out to tell you, gosh, you are so not alone with the skin picking. I’ve been there. I’m still there. I started when I was about your age…mostly on any blemishes on my face or arms, but when in my late highschool/early uni years it got quite destructive. It hurts and it eats away at how you feel about yourself. While I don’t have a simple answer, here are some little suggestions. Shower. Get in the shower when you feel the urge. The sensory overload is helpful. Painting your nails as a small little reminder. Take time before you got to bed to smooth some nice, gentle cream over your whole body. Be gentle. Find something, however small, that you like about yourself.
And as for your body. I can empathize there too. I was recently diagnosed with an eating disorder and have had a rough go with body image. While I’m still working on it, I’ve found yoga to be really helpful. I watch Yoga with Adriene on Youtube all the time. It gives me a really positive distraction when I just feel gross. I know everyone can tell you you’re beautiful as much as they want, but ultimately, it has to come from you. And it’s damn hard. I know. But maybe we can work on it together?
Stay in touch,
Laurelinoblivion <3
Hey @Sarahcs.
First of all I want to say, that you are NOT fat, ugly or dumb. Everyone in this planet are beautiful just the way they are. That includes YOU.
You should not be jealous of your friend. Every person in this planet is different. It would be a shame, if we all looked the same. I think that nobodys perfect.
Keep fightind and let the sunshine shine in! <3
There’s this idea in Christianity called “Imago Dei.” It says that you are made in the image of God, and just from that alone, you are given interensic value. God cares for the birds of the air and the fish in the sea; how much more does He care for you, that which He so carefully designed and who he knows everything about but still loves anyway?
There will never be another you. Ever! You have unique skills and traits that the world needs to see. I hated hearing this at your age, but you’re still young— you’re still growing. I didn’t realize my special gifts until I was 14, and I didn’t learn how to really utilize them until I was 20. Just be open to suggestions and be open to what makes you joyful.
I had really bad acne when I was your age. Like, really bad. ~95% of my acne is cystic, and cysts are nearly impossible to get rid of without a prescription. Plus, they just spread if you try to get rid of them otherwise. I suffered with that until I could afford to go to a dermatologist when I was 19. It really harmed my self esteem. I thought I was going to have big pit scars on my face like my mother and I hated that. It caused me to be depressed for sometimes over a year. It was a heavy burden that I wasn’t prepared for, and it really wasn’t a fun time at all. The summers were especially hard.
But then as I grew older, I realized my feelings about vanity where over-inflated— in reality, they didn’t really matter as much as I thought they did. Middle schoolers are especially vain. Everyone is trying to fit in, while also standing out, and there’s definitely a tension within that. I can only imagine it’s gotten worse since YouTube and Instagram beauty models have become so popular. Just recognize where you’re at, and make a plan to be your best (but always be patient— especially with yourself!).
You’re at the time in most people’s life that people start stumbling into what makes them unique. My advice would be to find those things, and just be you, like no one else can. Find the things you do well and work on them. Be intentional. Try new things and see what joy they bring to you or others around you. Try things outside of your norm. Music, cooking, reading, dog training, comedy, therapy, volunteerism, horseback riding, biking, anything! Sometimes it can be more abstract and applied to many things. One of my unique gifts is that I like to bring order to chaos— I like understanding the ins and outs of complex systems; and this is often used to make music, produce TV/broadcast shows, and do in-depth teaching to others. It’s a big journey, and there’ll probably be things you’ll fail at that you really wish you could do or could be, but just be understanding and patient to yourself. You can only be you, so be your best, and take joy in it!
I hope some of this insight helps. I’m glad you found this online resource. Love you! I really hope things get better.
hi friend,
thank you so much for posting and being open with us. I just want you to know that you’re loved and cared for. you are important, because you are a human being with breathe in your lungs who is deserving of loved, importance, and being heard. and that’s why we’re here for you. we’re here to love on you and remind you that your life does matter and you do have a purpose. I hope you find comfort and encouragement here.
I totally understand you on this. I struggle with this also. it can be really hard to distract yourself and get away from stuff going on when things that make you happy, like the school year, aren’t going on. I wanna encourage you to try to get out of the house more, whether it be going for a walk and listening to music, hanging out with a friend? just something to distract you? I also wanna encourage you to try journaling. writing down what’s going through your head and what you’re feeling is a great way to clear your head and maybe feel a little more clarity about things?
just because your best friend is “skinny, rich, and smart” doesn’t mean you aren’t a person with value. you are perfect in our eyes. you are good enough.
you are here for a reason. I know that’s hard to believe right now, but I promise you that you have a purpose. God put you here for a reason, and that reason is to show the world how awesome, strong, and amazing you are. you are here to share your story and be a inspiration to others. and you are! just by sharing this post with us, you have inspired people. you’ve inspired me. having doubts about religion and not knowing what to believe is normal, I think. I think everyone has many questions at some point in their lives and doesn’t know what to believe in. you have time to figure it out, my friend. it’s normal to question things.
you WILL succeed. I promise you. you were meant to be here. this part of your life will pass. you will fight and win this battle! this isn’t the first time life will get you down, but the good news is that you aren’t alone in this battle. we are here for you. we are here to help you. we love you. we believe in you and we will never stop being here for you.
stay strong