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Since November of 2021 I’ve lost 6 friends. 2 from taking their own lives, 1 from OD’ing, 1 from a motor accident, 1 was shot and the most recently from health complications, this death was really hard on me because it was one my first internet friends Sarah, she was engaged and just a week earlier she booked me as her wedding photographer and we were planning her theme and the kinds of photos she wanted. Death is never not surprise but that one really knocked me in my butt
Everyone expect one of them was young, in their mid 20’s - 30’s, expect one of them, all of their passings tragic and taking a big toll on my soul.
While all of this is happening, I’ve been having to accept the impending loss of my child hood friend Jason that has been a staple in my life for 22 years.
His brother Travis, who I was super close with passed away in 2019. They both had muscular dystrophy and jason, just recently went in to hospice at the beginning of august.
Despite his outlook and comfort in being a believer in an afterlife and knowing he’s at peace makes the loss not devastating as the others. Sadly, I don’t have that comfort. Jason may be physically weak, but his character is so strong, it’s inspiring. He’s a paradox. it’s still really hard to think that one of my closest friends after all these years will be gone. When his brother passed it felt like a part of me is missing and now with Jason soon leaving I am feeling like i’m losing even more of myself. And it is super isolating! Exactly as you described in this video.
Oh man my heart aches just reading this. It’s like a snowball of loss, just growing bigger and bigger as the time goes on and your just waiting for the sun to come out and melt all the pain away, but instead it just gets colder and colder and more painful.All of it happening in such a short period of time, so you aren’t even close to finish grieving one loss before another one comes. All of these losses so tragic and so sudden. So many unanswered questions, so many unsaid goodbyes, so much pain and with all of this pain behind you, you know that instead of sunshine coming there is just more pain ahead as you think of losing Jason. It has to feel incredibly lonely and daunting. Thank you for sharing this here. I wish I could waive a wand and take this grief all away from you, but all I can do is encourage you to keep sharing it, because sharing your grief and your pain and allowing others to support you will help lighten the burden just a little bit, and it may even spark new relationships, experiences and connection. You’ve got this. Sending so much love.
I am so sorry about all your losses that is a lot of loved ones to lose in such a short time. It is so hard to lose someone(s) We Never stop grieving for those we love it just gets easier to remember the good times we shared with that person. To think about them with Love and laughter. Maybe with your friend Jason you can share some of the way you feel. Talk to him about fun memories and ask him to send small signs so you know he is around in other ways. Sending you so much love and prayers.
The pain you’ve been through with all of these losses in your life is immeasurable. I’m so very sorry that you have known so many tragic losses, and are now also living with this perspective of losing your friend as his health declines. It’s so hard to find meaning and feel like embracing life when death seems to remind you of its reality all the time. I can only imagine how much this ha brought you questions, pain and turmoil inside regarding why these friends had to go away at such a young age. It is surely an injustice that cut deeply. I hope with all my heart that, in times to come, you will be able to embrace life with Jason just the way it is at the moment, and feel the insouciance that you both deserve to share as long-term friends. While you are navigating the perspective of losing him, there is also still a LOT of love to share together, and joyful memories to create. Sometimes a moment, a smile, a piece of joy that is shared becomes our entire world and puts everything else on pause, even if it is just for a minute. I truly wish all the best for you moving forward, am sending plenty of good thoughts to your friend too. If you need support, please know you can always reach out on heartsupport’s forum as well. We have a loving community always willing to listen and provide encouragement during vulnerable times. You are not alone, and you matter so much.