So I've been doing better... But today I'm overwhelmed tw: sexual topics

It’s been a while huh? I’m doing better, way too busy to think too much about that horrible break up. Still not over it but, well, it’s a process.

Today a classmate I don’t know that we’ll called and asked how I live my sexuality. I explained I’m demi sexual and how it took me a while to accept my bisexuality.

After a while he asks if I’ve ever had sexual relationships (no), and tells me he hasn’t because of trauma.

He asks if I’d be willing to try.

He explains he thinks since we don’t have any experience it’d be a little more comfortable for him.

I deny the offer politely and he says it’s ok. At no point was he disrespectful and he was very nervous, I believe, however… I feel nauseated.

I’m going through a rough process right now, and in general feel sex repulsed most of the time, so I’m obviously not willing to try any of that (and possibly risk getting pregnant where I don’t want to even think about it). I don’t know how to feel about this, I don’t know if it’s normal, and I know it’s probably not that deep but I felt… Gross. Like I’m being seen as a lab rat in need of some “help”. It makes me wanna cry and vomit.

This is confusing and overwhelming and makes me wish My ex hadn’t left. This is the kind of conversation I would’ve liked to have with someone I actually loved, not with some guy I barely know.

It also makes me question why I can’t have good friendships with men. Like at this point I only have one male friend (the guy who told me not to try streaming broke contact with me for some reason).

I don’t want to live like this, I’d never felt so much like an object as I have in the last year.

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Hi there Mtelltaleheart. I did a video response to offer you some support. Thank you for reaching out. So I've been doing better... But today I'm overwhelmed --Response | Loom


Thank you so much for your response, really.
I’ve always struggled to distinct what’s normal and this certainly was not it, but since I barely interact with men (or people in general) at a deeper level than just professional I was having a rough time processing just how weird it is.
I have been attending therapy for a few months now and it really helps, my next appointment is on Friday but I truly needed to get it off my chest…
Again, thank you so much for your words, hope things go well for you too :hugs: