Im not sure what to write other than being honest. I dont trust people i used to talk to because of gossip this is a sage place because i dont know anyone here. My wife and i were fine from the start love birds and married so fast but its taking a toll im afraid to drive, or talk about responsibilities like finances without leading into some argument. The constant yelling, arguing. I just candle handle it anymore. I dont know what to do… i love her to death and i want to stay with her and we both believe divorce is never an answer. And on her end of things, she struggles with so much insecurities about the fear of losing me to someone else. Which is impossible im not that great looking. And for one were married i dont understand the insecurities. Anything we talk about leads into an argument. Its so exhausting. Newly weds and just only been a month. Living together theres so much i dont understand i guess. I dont know how to love without saying something wrong or upsetting. Idk.
It sounds like there’s a lot of love in your marriage. Maybe it’s just nerves. You’re only just married, maybe neither of you are used to it and are simply nervous. If not, maybe consider a relationship therapist. Or find a time when your wife isn’t busy and is in a good mood. Tell her in a positive and considerate way how you feel or whatever it is that you want to say and give her the opportunity to tell you how she feels. You could also write her a letter with the things you want to say without an argument. If you write a letter, then she has time to consider your words and come up with a good response without leading to an immediate argument.
Hello GoldenNuggs42,
Thank you for sharing with us about what you are currently going through in your marriage. This is a safe place, so you came to the right the platform. I am sorry to hear about what has been going on, the fights and arguments, and how it is all making you feel. I can see how this can all be weighing heavily on your heart especially since there is uncertainty about how to fix things/make them better, and move forward.
It can be hard to communicate when you feel as though everything you say or do is the “wrong” thing or that it will lead to an argument.
What are your thoughts and feelings about a third outside party such as a relationship/marriage therapist. I know of many people that have found going to a therapist very helpful for their marriage and learning how to understand and communicate more effectively with their partners.
It sounds like you are both struggling with separate feelings that probably adds to the strain seen in your conversations and interactions.
A few questions for you to reflect on (and you don’t have to provide the answers here), but when did you notice these types of constant arguments happening? Were there any big changes in either of your lives around the time these arguments started? Has anything changed in your relationship around the time the arguments started (things regarding intimacy or passion, etc - anything that you all used to do that you stopped doing). Questions like these could potentially help pinpoint the root of the arguments. Most times there is a root cause and the arguments tend to be the symptoms (if you will).
I’m sorry to hear that this is all occurring so soon into the marriage. But I am rooting for you both and hope that you all will be able to work through it an come out stronger as a couple and unit. Wishing you all the best! 