From Brambllstar: So, recently I had a mental break of sorts. I was feeling lonely because a friend was busy, and despite having proof of it, I felt like I was being ignored on purpose. After snapping, and letting out how I was feeling, it turned to something I had done that they were hurt from. And how I reacted finally made me realize that, after fighting to not be, I might be sarcastic. And looking back on my life, it makes sense. Feeling like I’m always being attacked when someone criticizes me. Leaving people when it feels like they get upset. Thinking I give more attention than I receive. I always thought it was rejection sensitive dysphoria from ADHD, but now I’m starting to think otherwise. Why I feel so stupid is because I grew up with a sarcastic father, and I vowed to never be like him. Yet I failed and am doing the exact same mistakes as him.
If anyone knows how to start getting help in correcting my behavior, it would be very much apricated. I do not want to hurt those close to me, and want to start feeling better mentally. I already plan on talking to my doctor about getting tested for having NPD next time I go for a checkup. But until then, ways to start combating it would be very much apricated.
3 Likes
Just noticed auttocorrect changed “narcissistic” to “sarcastic.”
1 Like
From 𝒫♡𝓀𝑒: I can be a friend mate===
1 Like
Hi Friend, I’m sorry that you’ve had a mental break (of sorts) because you were feeling lonely. It sucks when friends are busy and don’t have time for us. I’m sorry you felt ignored, I know that hurts.
You mentioned NPD and that you feel you may have the disorder. There are lots of traits associated with NPD that you didn’t mention and I thought I’d share this video from Dr. Fox. He’s a licensed therapist who specializes in personality disorders and his video’s have helped me with my borderline personality disorder a ton.
The video might help you with your worry and clarify some things about NPD.
Hope it helps!
2 Likes
From Brambllstar: Thank you for the video explaining more about narcissistic tendencies more in depth. It actually more confirms to me that I have it. It could still be something else, so until I do get tested I cannot say for certain. But I can sadly relate to pretty much all but one point Dr.Fox talks about.
2 Likes
You’re welcome. Yes, it’s better to wait until you can see a therapist about this and not self diagnose. I’m happy that the video could give you more information. 
3 Likes
I think what you are doing is great. You are exploring yourself, and trying to grow. This is really good stuff.
If you are into reading, or listening. This book has an audiobook too, and might be a good read.
2 Likes
Hi Friend,
I want to point out something that I found really encouraging about this post. You seem really self-aware. I appreciate that you’re looking internally and really thinking about your behavior and how it may affect others. I hope that you will continue to do that. I also think it’s great that you’ve got an appointment coming up with your doctor. That is honestly the best place to start with getting help. You are always welcome here. You’re incredibly valued and cared for by this community. I hope that you’ll keep us updated on your journey and progress. I wish you all the best!
3 Likes
From: Happy Unicorn Rider
Hi there! 
A doctors visit sounds like a good place to start. And one of the important steps, realizing what kind of behaviour you want to change in yourself. That shows a lot of insight. Good on you for being so reflecting on your situation. Best wishes! 
2 Likes
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, Thank you for posting. I cannot add a lot more than the excellent advice and help that you have already recieved however I would like to say that I think you are marvellous in the way you are dealing with learning about your health, your self awareness and talking to the doctor about different tests available to you. It can be a long lonely road but you now have a whole community that will support this journey with you. Much Love Lisa. x
1 Like
Brambllstar, I’m so sorry that your recent experience with your friend was so upsetting and hurtful. It sounds frustrating as well, because you are talking about not wanting to feel this way. Oh how we don’t want to do the things we do sometimes, yet we do them anyway. You have really good self awareness when it comes to your emotions and your reactions to them. That is huge. It’s good that you are going to talk with your doctor about your mental health concerns. Please be careful to not self diagnose before you see the doctor. But yes, having a good understanding of what you know you have going on with your ADHD and your family’s mental history is a really good idea. You’ve been given some really good resources already. Please keep us posted on what you find out and how you are doing. You matter my friend.
2 Likes