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Social anxiety help me please

I’ve been feeling really depressed lately, but it’s always easy to hide it around people somehow. Today at lunch was just awkward, but only for me. I hate having social anxiety. I hate feeling mute and unable to think of anything to say and over thinking and sweating. I try to be myself, but it feels like I’m too cheery and I don’t know what to say all the time. I get lonely a lot sometimes, but other times I feel like I’m better alone.
Everyone seems to take it all so easy
I just feel insane.
Please give me advice for handling social anxiety like this


People can always use some cheer in their lives. Don’t worry about what they will think if you give them a big smile and ask them how their day has been, or wish them a good day. Quite often people react positively to it and in turn ask you how you have been or wish you a good day as well.

If you find that you’re overthinking what you want to say, maybe it would lower your anxiety if you said ‘I haven’t really given a lot of thought to that’ or ‘I don’t know, maybe I’ll have to get back to you on that!’ It relieves the immediate pressure to give a response, gives you time to actually think about the question, and lets the other person that they can’t expect a well-reasoned response to that right now.

'cause really, the brain doesn’t work like a computer. Perfect information retrieval and razor-sharp analysis is not always its forte. It often does really well with associating things with other things, for example. So try to play to its strengths instead of its weaknesses. :slight_smile:

You might not be as good at hiding your depression as you think. There’s probably at least one person who has an inkling that something is wrong but they’re not sure how to approach you about it. Maybe you should look for the signs that someone is concerned and have a quiet word with them, to let them know that things are not okay and that you could use a little support right now. You don’'t have to blurt out everything, either, just see how they react.

Coming back to what I said at the start, don’t be afraid to say ‘things could be better’ or ‘I’m struggling a bit today’ or ‘I’m not so good right now.’ I often use these if I’m going to to see the doctor to review my medication and things aren’t going so well. In that setting, it’s sort of important for me to be completely honest. Now, there are times when you maybe don’t want to show that vulnerable side, I will admit, but hopefully if you have colleagues or friends that you trust, you can open up to them a little so that they can help.

Getting to know what people are interested in is another way to make future conversations less burdened by anxiety. Music, movies, TV shows, and maybe even books are safe conversation topics that you can introduce and chat about without worrying too much about the outcome. Not saying that you should change your viewing, listening or reading habits, just maybe occasionally dip into what other people like, that way you can say ‘hey, you know, I watched an episode of that, seemed pretty good, don’t know if I’ll get into it though.’

Finally, don’t feel like you need to be constrained to face-to-face conversation. If it feels more comfortable to text someone, do that instead. If you don’t have their number, tell them that you’re not always great at sharing your feelings in person, and ask them for it politely. They could say no, but you lose nothing by trying to open up that alternative line of communication.

Hope some of this helps. And have a lovely morning, by the way. :slight_smile:

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Thank you @marvinkosh! It means a lot

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For the past year straight iv’e been dealing with extreme mood swings with depression and social anxeity. It started in high school when I would go out for lunch and i felt people were constantly judging me, therefore I would just hide in the bathroom stall. My parents have an alcohol problem along with us having money problems my whole life, - along with my older brothers autism - I think made this worse. Therefore when I graduated I got addicted to weed and ignored every person iv’e ever known except for my family. When I get around people I get red and extremely sweaty I have no idea what to do, and when I don’t say something for a while I feel like they don’t want me there anymore.
Waking up from my brothers constant noise makes me feel so worthless, no one will ever understand what its like to live in my family growing up with rich friends, constantly comparing myself. Overal life is pointless. I’m gonna try to get back to talking to my friends but every time I get back to it all the physically and emotionally harmful things they’ve done to me makes me question my worth on earth. I just want to be able to make new friends :confused: