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I log back into my Instagram today, I was nervous of being remind of my friend not responding to my aunt passing. Before that message, she said she need space. I wish never message her. This whole thing still mess with my mind. I still hurt by her, not responding. I still want to snap at her, called her out for being a shitty friend. But I know that won’t lead to any where good anyway. However, I can’t help my emotions being hurt and my heart being broken.
I still question about us being friends. Honestly maybe it better she never message me back. Because I don’t know if I can trust her again. She care about other people that treat her like shit. Because I could bleeding on the floor, she not give two shits about me.
I think I’m so better off being not Romantic with women. I end getting hurt and that being trap in a dark place with my thoughts get violent.
I can’t go through what I went through again. I can’t get close to another woman again. I better off alone.