Sometimes I have this odd longing to sit on my cold bathroom floor.
Sometimes I have the strange desire to just sit and brush my teeth.
When I have this weird dream, I want to get my teeth clean, so I can feel like I did something productive and did something for myself that day.
At times I long to sit on these tiles, seeing everything I see everyday from a differnet perspective, and I can see things from another angle and it feels like I am in a different room, in a different house.
I have moments in which I simply want to sit and think about nothing while I lean against my bathtub.
Sometimes I have this odd longing to lock myself in my bathroom, just to sit, follow the motion of my toothbrush, and just the water dropplets drip in my sink.
It is those night, when I have the strange desire to enjoy the cold of my bathroom floor, that I look down my arm, seening my scars, and remembering the nights in which I lay there bleeding and crying; helpless.
And it is that moment when I am thankful that I am sober and coping in otherr ways now.
Sometimes I have the odd longing to feel happy.
Today is this “sometimes”.