Stage 4 Breast Cancer

Hi everyone!

I am 31 with stage four breast cancer. I beat it once, and I was free for about a year, and it came back again. My last scans were clean once again! I go again to the doctors tomorrow and see the results of my scan this week. I have been following Kitboga for a few months now, and I have been hesitant to come on this website.

I am the type of person who puts their own issues aside and tries to keep everyone happy. I am the glue you would say, of my family. I keep everyone happy and going. I refer to myself as wonder woman, and anytime anything goes wrong I have to “suit up” and go to work at keeping people happy.

Some days though, I am exhausted. I have been to therapy, I know the things I need to do to maintain the right state of mind. That is not the problem. Things just get lonely sometimes, and it would just be nice to have people to talk to that don’t look at me as though I am dying. There is such a negative connotation behind cancer, and the sad soppy looks I get everytime I see people are annoying. Cancer is just an obstacle, and while, yes, I have been through SO MUCH, I’m still here and extremely blessed to be able to keep going. I am also a full time student going to school for cybersecurity, so ya know…that adds alot of stress on top of treatments! hahaha

Anyways, I am just here to talk to supportive folks, who won’t give me the “Awwww honey, it’ll be okay”. I like the , “you got this” type of attitude. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Maybe I am a weird cancer patient, who knows!?

Hope everyone is well and CRUSHINGGGGG your goals :slight_smile:
<3

7 Likes

@amandopando Not weird. It sounds like you have a passion for life and want to beat this thing. Positivity can help in a lot of ways. Don’t feel as if you’re weird, because you’re not.

I’m glad you came here because everyone needs to have a place to go to talk about the negative things in life and this is a good place. I’m a huge fan of Kit, have been for a while, and he’s part of the reason I’m here, also. Plus I know there’s a bunch of other Kitboga fans here. You’re in good company.

I hope your scans come back clean again. It sounds like maybe you already got this, but I’ll say it for you anyways: You got this. You are strong and you are beautiful. I can see it shining through in your post.

Welcome to the community.

Daisy :heart:

2 Likes

I love your attitude! You’re definitely not weird for having the headspace that you do. That is so amazing that you have battled breast cancer so many times and have beaten it time and time again. You DO got this! I’ve always found some solace in knowing that no matter what you or I go through, we are never the only ones going through it, and I think you’ll fit right in here with the rest of us!

Also, I’m a huge Kitboga fan as well and he is the reason I found Heart Support myself.

Welcome to the community, and stay happy and healthy!

2 Likes

Your positive outlook is a wonderful gift it’s definitely not weird! I really hope your scans come clean. You are a wonderful soul and warrior who will continue to succeed. I wish you all the best! You got this!!! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

2 Likes

What a beautiful energy that you have there, @amandopando! Thanks a lot for taking the time to share it with us, but also just to share those parts of your life. There really is a beautiful light shining through your words.

You’re definitely among friends right here and I hope being in this community will help you ease this loneliness that you feel sometimes. Lots of members of the bogafam right here too! :wink:

Fingers crossed for your next scan. You got this, wonder woman. Keep us updated. :hrtlovefist:

2 Likes

From: twixremix_

bogahey friend! your perseverance alone speaks for itself on how much you got this. when people give you those infamous pity eyes (i’m also familiar with those lmao), they just don’t know your true wonder woman strength. cancer is an absolute beast but i am CONFIDENT that nothing can take you down. so keep on fighting, keep on loving, and please make sure to take some you time every now and then after being so strong for so long. love, twix

1 Like

@amandopando

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who did “cybersecurity”, sounds cool?
So like when you complete your studies, you’d be into finding out about stuff like the Solarwinds attack … sounds really cool. I bet you spend a lot of time studying. I did some minor network admin work for awhile… I was surprised about the amount of … just information I needed in my head, but I imagine cyber security is very much more demanding. How did you get into it or are you a former hacker who’s been converted? :slight_smile: (kidding)
I’m not crushing my goals… but I continue to make progress. :slight_smile:
Peace :heart:

hey there,
you’re definately not weird my grandmother was the same. There was no sucking up around our house only hardcore encouragement and it makes sense. It gives energy in a time of need. I dont have advice just simply wanted to say am here for you and you got this!

1 Like

I was looking at online schools, because I knew I had to get some kind of education to get a better job. I stumbled across cybersecurity, and instantly fell in love. Two of my favorite things, computers and taking down bad guys! :slight_smile:

I have been a janitor since I got out of high school, and I am eagerly awaiting the job that accepts me into their internship programs so I can finally gets some professional experience. My resume causes a lot of companies to look over me since I have no professional experience.

My scans did indeed come back clean today!

I was looking forward to finally getting off chemo, but we are continuing it for the next three months until my next scans again.

It’s absolutely great news. I just have a hard time with the long-term. I used to be a very long-term thinker, and now I can only do it to a certain extent. One of the big things I want in life is to be able to have kids, and being 31 it feels like my time is running out. My husband and I are supposed to be looking into adopting, I figure I can adopt now, and down the line if the big guy upstairs allows me to have a child of my own, than great!

Thank you to everyone who replied! I wish I came on this website sooner. You all are amazing people! :slight_smile:

6 Likes

@amandopando

Great news works for me. Thanks for the update.

amandopando… we’re all amazing people… just most of us don’t know it. :heart:

YES! That’s really good to hear @amandopando! Thank you so much for the updates. You got this!

Praying and wishing the best to you and your husband at the same time regarding your desire to have kids. Little by little, one travels far. :hrtlegolove:

Amazing news! Thanks for keeping us updated!

Hey @amandopando , @taylor dedicated a song to you on our live stream!

Hold fast

2 Likes

Oh my gosh!!! Thank you for showing me. @Kayla

Thank you so much!!! I am sorry I missed the stream! I am honored! <3 <3 <3 <3

I will be frank, two seconds ago I wanted to cry. I had been struggling with feeling like I have no control of my life. I was talking with my husband about how we want to move out of NY some day, but unfortunately everywhere we will go I will need access to really good cancer centers, and of course the places I would LOVE to go don’t have any, but who knows where life can take you.
Anyway, I clicked over to check my e-mail. Saw this, and instantly went from wanting to cry to HOLY COW THIS IS AWESOME.

Thank you so much :slight_smile: <3 @taylor

2 Likes

You are so welcome! I am so glad it could encourage you! Sending you so much love!

2 Likes

Hey Amandpando,

The HeartSupport Houston Team responded to your post. Watch the response here. Hold Fast friend, and lean on our community.

  • HS Houston
1 Like

Thank you guys!

I wish I came onto HeartSupport earlier. The fact that you guys take time out of your day to give some words of advice to me is awesome. The words of advice and the reminder that it starts with how I look at myself is great. I have definitely been working from the ground up trying to love myself again.

Just before cancer it felt like I had my life all together. I just got married, I was pregnant, but unfortunately I miscarried. I lost 40 pounds, I was in the best shape of my life. Cancer came and quickly took all of that away.

Before my cancer came back a second time, my hair was growing back in so good. Having to go back on chemo, it has thinned it out again. I can’t go out anywhere unless I wear a baseball hat, at least having my hair in a pony tail makes me feel some what of a woman. I know my biggest enemy is myself. I am working every day to learn to love the skin I am in.

Thank you guys so much, it truly means the world to me that people out there who have never even met me want to take the time out of their day to give me advice and support.

Thank you thank you thank you! <3

2 Likes

I believe you are strong. My grandma is a breast cancer survivor and that was when i was a baby i remember going to fallow up appointments after remission or whatever till like 9 and im almost 18 now. Just think how much technology advances in a year compared to 10 years. I believe in you. Your strong you can get past this. As long as u keep fighting. If you give up then its ganna get alot harder. So keep your head up. You can get through this your strong :black_heart:

2 Likes

This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.