Still hard to move on!

[Mooseman]

I’m 32 yo male. My 20s were hard and I worked at a place for 10 years were I was ridiculed for every mistake I made. I was put down by friends talking behind my back and some random people who worked there telling me I sucked. I was thrown into this job so I had to learn on my own from mistakes. All this made me become very paranoid and feeling I was the center of the world because I felt all these people lived for me to just screw up. This sucked on top of having anxiety and depression I laid at bed at night scared I will make another mistake or I will go into work and be put down once again by co workers and friends. Well I left at 28 years old and got a new job. It’s been 4 almost five years since I left and I love my new job. I have been able to become a better worker and learn the right way and not be know as a screw up for the most part. I just can’t move on from the anger and grudges I have for those people at my old job. Even though it’s been years I still think about them every day of my life and get so depressed and angry. I feel like they still think and talk about me. In a selfish way I feel like I’m the center of the universe and I want that to stop. I hate feeling like that and wish I could let go of those bad times in my life. Please can anyone help?

[Sapphire]

Hi Moose,

It’s great that you’re at a better workplace now. Maybe you still think about the old days because you haven’t had a chance to adequately express your feelings about the situation. Have you tried writing your feelings down and examining them? How those events made you feel, why they made you feel that way, and allowing yourself to realize that that was not your fault and you are not a bad person? I find that sometimes we think we’ve done this sufficiently when we actually haven’t. Perhaps take some time to really dig deep into those feelings.