My depression is getting somewhat worse and I am trying to find new work that has better pay so I can move away from my family…I really need to see a doctor and my therapist but I am on a bind on finances…Maybe I should start a go fund me? But I don’t know if anyone would be interested.
I just want to die right now.
I read about what people have been treating you like, and they’re the ones who are messed up.
How you treat people is who you are!
That, unfortunately, is NORMAL.
But we must have the courage not to be normal.
We must not be like them. Please, stay strong. Do not kill yourself. You can still make a difference (a positive one) in people’s lives. It’s their problem for not accepting you.
You are loved, you matter, and you can change the world!
You are not a bad person, and you do not deserve to die. You also do not deserve to be treated like garbage. You are a human, Not garbage.
You could take your pain and empathise with other people who have been mistreated.
You are not a normal person.
You are also not garbage,
and if you hold on, you can make a huge difference.
It’s really good that you’re looking after a job right now. It might take some time to feel a little better though, especially if you feel the need to be in a different environment. Getting a job surely opens a lot of doors and creates new opportunities. I really hope you’ll find one soon and set up your project of moving somewhere else. In the meantime, you’ll need to give yourself some grace. Looking after a job is stressful, it’s a process made of a lot of uncertainties, it’s made of many ups and downs but you’re doing great. You’re setting the foudations of a better future for yourself.
I’m sorry your finances are a problem right now, especially since it impacts your capacity to see a doctor and a therapist. Do you know if you’re eligible for a financial aid where you live (especially regarding healthcare)? A go fund me could be an idea as well - just keep in mind that if it doesn’t work then it doesn’t mean that hope would be gone, okay? It’s important to do what’s safe and healthy for you, but also to be gentle with yourself if you feel particularly vulnerable these days.
You are loved, friend. Hold fast.
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