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Stopped using dope 20 years ago, because some my body and vital functions stopped functioning. But to be honest (without glorifying addiction in whatever way), I really miss it. I guess just like layne reality is too overwhelming to cope with. Hoe the f can a human function normally in a society thats is completely profoundly abnormal? I know if I’d start again, my body couldn’t handle it now I’m getting older, but I was fucking happy. I went through every therapy there is, still use a lot of medicines to soften this fucked up world a bit, but imho addiction is in a philosophical way maybe the best way for some of us to cope with a society that’s rotten to the core. Some say: drugs are for people who cant handle reality. But I conclude otherwise; reality is for people who cant handle their drugs.
I’m not glorifying anything, I just want to say that I was way happier in my dope years to be honest. I was Living! But these past 2 decades of sobriety is not living, it’s just surviving… Always have felt a deep connection with Layne, because he made me feel there’s at least one honest person who understands me. Guess I’ll never understand how people can function “normally” and sober in a world that’s rotten to it’s core… For some of us, sobriety and being tired and suicidal 24/7 is way worse than being an addict. Sorry for all this negativity, but for some reason I just needed to say this. Buenos noches.
I hear that living in that “happier” state of mind feels better than facing the twisted reality of life. Waking up to a lot of messed up systems, pain, trauma, and abuse that happens can make life feel like an endless cycle of pain. It’s true that there are many things in this world that aren’t right. Having the bravery and intelligence to see those things shows a discernment and exposure to the worst this world has to offer. While the world can see all bad, it also has goodness. If you look for evil, you will find it, but if you look for love, that is what you will see. I don’t say that to offer some kind of face “puppy dogs and rainbows” approach to avoiding the devastation of life, but in a, alongside these rotten things, maybe there is some good, too. While the world is evil, is there something beyond that can provide a goodness? Is there something beyond our destruction that can offer hope? That is for you to answer for yourself. When I look at all the evil and darkness in the world, the only way I can believe in any purity or love is to look to a higher power. Just some questions to add to the conversation. I wish you all the best!! Buenas noches!
I want to congratulate you on not only getting sober because your body was telling you that it couldn’t handle the drugs anymore, but also deciding to stay sober for over 2 decades. Neither of those things are easy to accomplish and I am proud of you for being able to do both!
I agree that the world can be a horrible and dark place. There are many twisted people in this world that would rather harm people and do things that benefit themselves instead of offering a helping hand to others and trying to make the world not such a dark place. We all need those escapes from reality, whether it be through books, movies, television shows or in extreme cases drugs. Drugs do have a tendency to give illusions of a better time because they take the reality away. They take the pain away. They take away all the bad things. But they also leave their own badness behind, which is the addiction and the dependency.
I will be the first to tell anyone that life is not easy and it puts a lot of us through the wringer. It can be cruel, but it doesn’t always have to be dark. I agree with what JBrach said “if you look for evil you will find it.” My husband sometimes has that outlook and he will tell me that he was right when something bad happens, while I always respond with it was his own self-fulfilling prophecy that came true.
There is goodness in the world. It’s in the music that we listen to and in this community that you are now a part of. If you ever wonder about the goodness of the world, you can look to us. There is also happiness in the world, but that might be a bit more difficult to find. We are all responsible for our own happiness and we are all able to find what makes us happy. Sometimes to find our own happiness we have to work through the darkness in our own heads first, but you don’t have to make that journey on your own anymore if you don’t want to. Battling that darkness can be exhausting and I appreciate your honesty. But you deserve to feel like you are living. You deserve to find your happiness. Buenos noches!
