I am Failing in math, and every subject seems to come to me in one ball of stress. I have a disorder where my IQ Is really high and I am really smart, but I THINK differently and my performance is low and terrible. So I have to work harder than everyone else in the classroom. I HATE IT!!! I WISH I WOULDN’T BE MYSELF!! I have a dumb disorder that I never wanted to be born with!! I wish I could be someone else and just be normal like everyone. I feel tired, for some reason back in 1st grade through 7th I was really happy and jolly and the rumors never really bothered me. Until it all made sense no one cares about me. 8th grade hit me, and I went downhill into sadness and anxiety. I am too scared to talk to my math teacher about my disorder, I am failing 9th grade already. Usually, my math teachers where special Ed teachers, who helped people with learning disabilities and problems with the subject. But I worked my butt off to get out of that dumb class, I thought I was being treated like a baby in that class, but now I know, they were only trying to help me. And I SO darn wish I listened more in that class. NO ONE knows how I feel, because no one has the same disorder I have. I know I have a disorder because they did an IQ test on me saying, “She can do anything if she puts her mind to it, she just needs to work harder,” Well? I Don’t FEEL like a champion right now, I FEEL like a failure!! a dumb person who doesn’t deserve anything!! AND on top of that mess!!! I have a PROBLEM OF REMEMBERING MATH EQUATIONS!! I AM NOT JOKING!! I feel like I need to go back to 1rst grade and start all over again, Just to remember EVERYTHING!
You are not a failure. Maths are a struggle for many of us.
You know what? It doesn’t matter what your IQ is. It doesn’t matter which diagnose you received. If it’s making you suffering for the moment, then put this away from your mind temporarily. A diagnose should only be helpful to you, helpful to grow. You can actually get from it a better knowledge of your current struggles. But you’ll need some time to work on that too.
Battling against that is absolutely normal. You are learning to live with whatever difficulties you’re facing. But there’s nothing in this world that would define you nor labelize you as not being “normal”. Normality just doesn’t exist. We all have our own capacities and difficulties.
Try to focus on yourself. On how you feel, on what is objectively difficult to you right now. And feel free to talk about it to your maths teacher. A teacher is here to help you learn, regardless of their formation. Also maybe if it’s needed you could talk with your parents about having a tutor for maths? Those are things that every student can have to do at some point. There’s absolutely no shame in that. You are not a failure.
Take care. 
Thank you. I did tell my mom I struggle quite a lot. She knows, and she helps me now when I ask for her help. My brother in law told me that I put too much pressure on myself and I need to breathe an chill out. Thanks for your feed back! Its really helps!
Thank you for your reply! I’m really glad to hear that your mom helps you. Indeed, it sounds that you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Some pressure that you don’t need at all. That’s okay, we all do this sometimes, especially when it’s about something that is important to us. But you got this, friend. You’ll keep going on despite those obstacles on the road. I believe in you .