I am really struggling bad tonight . My uncle passed away tomorrow would be 2 weeks. It was unexpected and it breaks my heart. I also lost a couple people recently as well and know some close family friends who are really sick as well. I just feel like everyone is dying . I don’t get it and I feel so depressed. Also I graduated college last year and still haven’t found a job . I feel so useless and a mistake that I can’t find a job that uses my degree. I am tired and feel like my life has no purpose. I am tired of living and want my pain to leave. Really struggling and feeling totally alone in all of this grief . I want to turn back to self harm but I know I can’t . The struggle is real right now
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Hey @Carseaj, thank you so much for being here and being so vulnerable. That takes so much courage. I am so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. Man that sounds so hard. I know I’m some random person on the internet, but I’m grieving with you tonight. You are not alone.
Please know that you are not useless and not a mistake. I also struggle to find my purpose and have really felt that this past year amidst the isolation. I think this community has really helped me and I hope it can support you too during this time. Again, you are not alone and you are so loved. Sending positive vibes and prayers your way my friend.
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Hey @Carseaj ,
The HeartSupport Houston team responded to your post here. Hold Fast friend, and lean on our community.
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Thanks for reaching to me. Honestly it was really hard for me to open up to people, but I knew I need to reach out before I explode. But while listen to it I really struggle to have grace with myself because I feel like I have to have everything together . People look up to me and always know I am the happy one . It is difficult in this season because I am not like that and that is why I am hard on myself . That is why I am trying to shut off the grieve but that isn’t working well . Idk if that makes any sense. Another thing I struggle with is I never want to feel a burden towards anyone . So with this I either don’t feel like I can go to anyone or don’t have anyone in my life I can’t handle . I went to heart support cause I felt like it was my last option. I also want to get out my home to because I live in a broken home . A lot of verbal abuse happening and it makes all of the grief / job searching more difficult. I have parents on back about I need to find a job or I need to get over myself because my uncle is gone and we can’t change it . I just feel like I have to have it all together but in reality in this season I am falling part . And it just seems like the deaths that just keep happening. I just found out a family friend isn’t gonna make long . If he goes then I would have lost 4 people just this month alone. It is just really rough and feel like I have no where to turn to even though I have this community here . It just feels like it.
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Really struggling bad tonight
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