I am really struggling bad tonight . My uncle passed away tomorrow would be 2 weeks. It was unexpected and it breaks my heart. I also lost a couple people recently as well and know some close family friends who are really sick as well. I just feel like everyone is dying . I don’t get it and I feel so depressed. Also I graduated college last year and still haven’t found a job . I feel so useless and a mistake that I can’t find a job that uses my degree. I am tired and feel like my life has no purpose. I am tired of living and want my pain to leave. Really struggling and feeling totally alone in all of this grief . I want to turn back to self harm but I know I can’t . The struggle is real right now
Hey @Carseaj, thank you so much for being here and being so vulnerable. That takes so much courage. I am so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. Man that sounds so hard. I know I’m some random person on the internet, but I’m grieving with you tonight. You are not alone.
Please know that you are not useless and not a mistake. I also struggle to find my purpose and have really felt that this past year amidst the isolation. I think this community has really helped me and I hope it can support you too during this time. Again, you are not alone and you are so loved. Sending positive vibes and prayers your way my friend.
Hey @Carseaj ,
The HeartSupport Houston team responded to your post here. Hold Fast friend, and lean on our community.
Thanks for reaching to me. Honestly it was really hard for me to open up to people, but I knew I need to reach out before I explode. But while listen to it I really struggle to have grace with myself because I feel like I have to have everything together . People look up to me and always know I am the happy one . It is difficult in this season because I am not like that and that is why I am hard on myself . That is why I am trying to shut off the grieve but that isn’t working well . Idk if that makes any sense. Another thing I struggle with is I never want to feel a burden towards anyone . So with this I either don’t feel like I can go to anyone or don’t have anyone in my life I can’t handle . I went to heart support cause I felt like it was my last option. I also want to get out my home to because I live in a broken home . A lot of verbal abuse happening and it makes all of the grief / job searching more difficult. I have parents on back about I need to find a job or I need to get over myself because my uncle is gone and we can’t change it . I just feel like I have to have it all together but in reality in this season I am falling part . And it just seems like the deaths that just keep happening. I just found out a family friend isn’t gonna make long . If he goes then I would have lost 4 people just this month alone. It is just really rough and feel like I have no where to turn to even though I have this community here . It just feels like it.
Really struggling bad tonight
How are you feeling?
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