Struggling to stay afloat

The past few days have not been the best.

I find myself struggling to breath so much because of my anxiety- it’s like my throat is closing up and it sucks.

I find myself drifting away from my friends and I just don’t want to try and reach out to them anymore.

I’m excited to start college and work tomorrow and I will be glad to not be stuck at home.

Lately I’ve just been filled with so much anger and hate and I can’t let it go.

I’m just so tired of a lot of stuff. Of being asked questions over and over even simple things like how my day was or anything like that.

I’m so annoyed with people and myself and I’m just so tired. I’m so sick of anxiety making is so hard to breath.

It is really hitting me now that I’m slowly just drifting away from everything and everyone. I feel like I don’t have people but I do but I just don’t feel it.

I can’t help my friends- it’s hard to be kind with advice now. I said in a previous post I thought I got past the self hate and self worth struggles but I haven’t.

I feel like I’m the one who always has to start conversations and reach out and I’m just tired of it.

I just have so much anger inside of me and I don’t know how to release it.

I don’t know how to let go of the enmity I feel towards others, I don’t know how to just get over stupid things.

Half the time I take it out on myself physically or mentally.

I didn’t finish ReWrite because I hit points where I feel ok- I think if I feel ok why would I need to keep working on it? Same thing with Dwarf Planet. Maybe it is more along the lines of “I’m feeling ok and I don’t want to face my problems right now because I feel ok”.

I’ve been so on edge the past few days and i’m just struggling a lot.

I can’t run the GoFundMe page I made for friends but I have to; it just feels like a weight on my chest and it physically hurts.

I don’t really know why I post at this point because I know now that it won’t help me. Guess it’s just habit.

I drift away from people and I just don’t feel right. I feel sick and tired and lost.

Hey @Lyss,

I’m sorry you feel this way. First I just want to say thank you for posting, especially since you seem to be wondering how that would even help. But I know if has helped you in the past and I’m sure it can help you again now. Nobody is meant to go through their struggles alone, so I’m really glad that you keep having the strength to be able to let others support you – it’s hopeful.

I understand, really. Your story is unique but many of us can understand and relate to this struggle. I promise you are not alone, and we are all here with you.

I am also really glad you’re starting college and work tomorrow because it seems like that’s going to be a good change for you. It sounds like something that you’ve been looking forward to for a while. A lot of times people find it easier to feel connected and awake and emotionally healthy when they’re busier, which can sometimes seem counter-intuitive but it happens. Hopefully that transition will help with this a bit. Just make sure you don’t put too much on your shoulders. Try not to cram too much stuff in and end up making your life unnecessarily stressful. But just being a healthy amount of busy can be a good thing.

Just remember you are not alone. And please remember to take time each day to take care of yourself. Self care is so important. Drinking enough water, eating 3 square meals a day, getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night, etc. All those things are often overlooked but if you focus on budgeting time and energy for all those things I really think things will improve.

We believe in you. You are strong enough. Hold fast, keep hope.

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