Struggling with a lot

I’m struggling to find any motivation. Kind of losing hope.

Every night for the past few days I get to this point and I get very depressed and I can’t grt out of it. My medication dose was increased but I still feel depressed.

Sometimes it’s hard to do anything because my body just hurts from anxiety and depression it seems. Still I am applying to jobs but still nothing. I applied to my old job which they stated they would love to have my back but they did not further with my application because I got low scores on whatever was graded, I don’t even know what or how.

I have no motivation. I don’t know what to do.

I’m really struggling so advice is appreciated.

Once again I’m falling behind in college and I just don’t know if this is for me.

Thanks for reading.


To be honest you push yourself to be motivated. Either by hyping yourself up through excitement, fear or anger. This is how I do it. TBH though lately I too can’t get much excited or anything towards motivation for anything. I push myself just to get out of bed.

So I understand. I think about my goals which I have written down even use one of those “use your to do list as an rpg” apps (example liferpg or the one I’m using now is epic win. I tried Habitica but It was a bit too complicated for me to understand fully and use efficiently.) The trick is to treat yourself with something that you enjoy after doing a task you don’t have motivation to do. Which ends up sucking when you’ve no motivation.

My secret is I become a bit of a scumbag and start blaming the world for what I don’t like. For instance I use to have a huge problem with cleaning. I would rarily clean because I got sick of starting it and not finishing it. I started blaming people for me not cleaning. Example: "I don’t do my laundry because I don’t have a job so there is no reason to do my clothes! Fuck this world! I get enough anger stirred up that now I got energy to do the laundry. So then I say “I am going to do my laundry because I know when I’ve a job I want to look nice for it.”

You just force yourself at first then you basically browbeat yourself until you do it. When I first started this I sort of used thoughts to sort of make it normal for me. I use to hate myself so much. So I would clean or do one of my goals as a punishment to myself. I know it seems weird. I used it as a way to keep from burning myself because I am a burner so when I stopped or I should say started to quit I nedded a replacement so I did chores because what else could be very agonizing to do that could punish me almost as much as burning myself? Forcing myself to do things that I have no motivation to do.

So when I do a task on my bucket list or anything I have several of thoughts going through my head; “This has to get done”, “Nobody is going to help me” , “I want to do it” , “It bothers me”, “I already started might as well finish it now” , “These people want me to not do anything so I am going to do at least this” & “Fuck this world, I’m doing it.”

Then I forced myself to do it. Now I don’t do everything yet I do at least one thing so I can say that I made progress.

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