Struggling with singleness, Lonliness, not being good enough?

Topics that come to mind i thought id give advice to share. Everyone struggles with these and more, it can even take the lives of others. I think the best kind of therapy we need is eachother not some schlar who learned about it and really never went through hardships like we have had and are doing now.

Everytime i am in a good spot i take a look back. So much scars, so much pain, lonliness devastated my life but i told myself if i can keep pushing forward, someday things can happen. It is a very true and honest statement. I cannot tell you how often it felt to want to just end it all and give up. But often times i was curious to see what life could have been if i chose it that way so i stayed alive.

Lonliness comes from not having people around or anyone. But in my opinion through being surrounded by influnces of all types. Its better to be alone for a while until you really meet good people. Even surrounding yourself with bad influences can make you fall into depression and go onto a path of regret and wrongful choices. This goes as far as dating we as men but also women too felt that if we were with someone our problems would go away that is not the case… id rather be with someone whose loving and encouraging than just looks pretty on the outside. And could be nasty on the inside you never know unless you talk to that person.

I really got blessed with someone who is the most kindest person and loves so many people and encourages me to seek the best in life. And im not even good looking im being honest. We built a strong connection, had so many similarities and it was easy to talk to them. It was easy to tear down walls i built up to ket them in. Ive even vowed to let novody in before. Meeting new friends, new people in general and ended up finding them along the path i took. We cannot do life alone on our own. Im so thankful i stayed alive i would have missed so many things that are truly worth living for.

You know how you came to the senses that youre not good enough? Either people or your standards and expectations are set too high. Gotta lower them. Dont make things impossible.

And a tip for maybe dating that was an eye opener. Dont look online for help or ask around. Keep things naturally and be you. Dont put on something that you aren’t. When you become comfortable you wont even realize youre being yourself. If you make her laugh or get her to smile you already starting off good. Dont jump to conclusions, Take it slow, let it come naturally.

Im not a therapsit, or staff, these are my experiences. I never met anyone who was really good theres many times i only sought after looks not saying its bad but many times looks were deciving. If youre not read for a relationship, work on yourself and heal from wounds and truama its best to heal then to let someone else also carry your luggage (baggage) that weighs on your shoulder. Just have to take on thome memories and hardships and move on from them thats how you heal

3 Likes

Hi @GoldenNuggs42,

I totally love & agree with the advice. I’m so happy for your relationship and friendship!!! People got to remember that friendship is like relationship. You need to be honest, patient, and open-minded with others. People are trying to rush finding new friends & relationships. It’s okay to stay single. I just let fate or nature control my love destiny. I do love to be a in relationship but my current goals are to focus on other things in life.

It’s okay to be alone and take break friendships or relationships . It helped understand myself on what I need to work on. I saw how it impacted my life. There is no such late to make friends or be in a relationship or get married! Take your time to enjoy the smallest moments in life.

As I grow older, you can’t be picky & stubborn to date someone with high standards People got to avoid the gender roles. Women need to stop playing the cat & mouse game with men. Men don’t like that type of approach. Sometimes you have to be one to ask you out. I will say both genders are clueless when it comes to having romantic feelings. It’s okay if someone rejects you, you did the best you could. Just moved on to a different person. There is someone out there that loves you!

The person that you will meet in your life can change your mindset. I agreed it’s important for people to learn verbal & non-verbal communication skills. It will us develop a better relationship with our loved ones.


Love,
toastaintbad

1 Like

I think you might be surprised by how many therapists become interested in their career due to their own experience with hardship. I can agree in many cases, peer support is the most effective, but not always. There are many mental health issues that require the services of a professional, and advice from inexperienced and untrained people could actually make their condition worse.

I pretty much agree with the rest of your insights. I especially like your understanding of how important it is to deal with our own baggage as much as possible rather than to bring those issues into a new relationship.