Back to heartsupport

Stuck in a hole


#1

What do i do… I’m 32 and I feel that I’m too old to have a very successful band.
And now i fear I’ve started to develop an eating disorder. I’m too afraid to eat anything due to fear of putting on weight.
I don’t know who I am. I don’t know my self worth. I don’t have any self worth.
HELP. I can’t do this anymore. I feel terrible. If i hadn’t seen the YouTube video of Ricky Horror from Motionless In White talking about heartsupport I wouldn’t have known this website existed.
I hate admitting something is wrong. But it’s obvious something clearly is. I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep feeling like this. Useless. Like I’ve missed out on my dreams of a successful band. I don’t even know who I am and I’m 32.
I’m sorry to bother anyone. I’m useless


#2

You are not useless. I’m a firm believer that everyone is meant to be successful at something. You just have to find it. That something may very well not be music, you might enjoy baking, or painting, or writing, etc.
You’re 32, you still have time, please be wise and use it for your own betterment


#3

I’ve tried lots of things. Music is the ONLY thing i want to do. But I’m worried 32 is too old to try be in a very successful band. I’ve wasted my life not chasing my dream.


#4

It’s still not too late. Too late would be when you can no longer sing, or play an instrument.


#5

Hey, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. First of all, admitting that something is wrong is the first step to get better.
Secondly, it’s never too late to question who you are and what you want to do with your life and this doesn’t make you useless. Your age doesn’t stop you from following your dreams. Of course, it would take time, effort and sacrifice but this shouldn’t stop you from trying. And even if, in the end, you might not be able to be in a very successful band, at least you will know that you tried your best. Instead of putting yourself down and saying you’re useless for not have being able to realize your dream, you could try to help someone else realizing theirs. Sometimes, knowing that another person is realizing their dreams thanks to your help, can make you feel proud of yourself again.
And for your eating disorder, the only advice I can give you is to find professional help.
I hope this can help you somehow.


#6

You’re not too old. If there’s one thing no one’s ever too old for is music. There’s a bunch of huge musicians out there who weren’t famous until their 30s. Remember Susan Boyle? Maybe right now you’re technically behind people who chased their dreams their whole lives, but now that you realized what your dream is, you can only get closer to it.

We’re about the same age. I also spent too many years not chasing my dreams. It’s easy to look back and see the missed oportunities, and I’m sure we both missed a few good ones. But there’s also new oportunities that opened and we can use.

Figuring who you really are is a big question that takes time to find a satisfying answer to. But doing things you truly believe in can be a road to find it.

And even if, IF you don’t make it big, you still matter. And if your music make a difference for even one single person, it’ll mean you did do something important.

Keep pushing. We’re with you.


#7

I’m glad that you found HeartSupport and thank you for sharing your story.
You’re never too old for music, or to follow any dream really. Look at some of the bands in the music industry right now - their ages. Look at some of the solo artists even…

You ARE enough - I know how it feels to constnatly think about yourself as worthless and useless, but I hope that the community here can help you and pick you up the way they’re helping me right now. You can get through this. If you can go to the doctor about your ED, I would advise it as well. I held off for so long and now have issues with food that AREN’T weight related.
You’re not alone.

Hold Fast
Kayla


#8

You could redefine your definition of success. With me connecting with people is so important to me and so many others. I love making people smile! It’s so lovely <3 (I’m a soppy old git)

I never want to become famous or anything like that, if I manage to ever make a living out of it it’d be a dream come true, but the music, making connections and bringing people together and making them smile will always come first, that’s my definition of success.


#9

It is only too late when you decide it is too late. I’ve met people that are well in their sixties that have a band. Yet if you feel it isn’t possible then I suggest reading into the music biz and finding something you’d feel be just as good (like being a songwriter or being a producer). Most people that want to be a musician or in a band think of being in front of people and being praised. They forget most singers/bands make their money by touring which means traveling a lot. This is a grueling task. A lot of work.
A lot more goes into having a band than just the equipment/band members. There is the interaction with venues so you actually have a set with an audience. There is obtaining a method to move said equipment and promoting the band and the venues that the band use. The method of transportation…so you must work hard everyday all day.
(It is almost the same as being a gamer about rpgs. You have to be all about the grind. Most daydreamers about bands aren’t willing or they let someone lazy destroy their dreams. I use to want to be a cop until I find out how much work it is to actually be one.)


#10

Hey @TarnieHorror thanks for sharing. Here is a link to our video response to your topic:
Hold Fast


#11

Hi, friend.
First I just want to say thank you to you guys for the live stream you did to my topic on heartsupport. I’m both so happy and so very humbled by what you and Casers said in the video. Thank you! Thank you so much! You have no idea how much I appreciate this.

For so long I have felt lost with no one to guide me. My mother died when I was 7 and my grandmother looked after me for 5 years after my mothers death (father ran away when I was a baby). My grandmother no longer wanted me anymore once I was 13, so I spent a lot of time in foster homes where I was abused. I have never really had any guidance or direction in my life.
But I do have my hope and my dreams. It is what has kept me going every day. Yet I live in fear of not achieving them. What you and Casers said in the video about living in regret and fear hit very close to home. And you’re both right, it’s abusive towards myself. I need to at least try. I need to take that “first step.”
I don’t want to feel like this useless waste of space anymore. I shouldn’t even be thinking of myself as a waste of space. Like you said, I “have a heart beat and breath in my lungs.”
Thank you to you and Casers. Thank you to everyone that was supportive in the stream chat and to those who responded with advice to my topic. I am so humbled that such a great supportive community like this exists.
For the first time I feel like people believe in me and are rooting for my success.

Thank you
TarnieHorror