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Stuck in a nightmare

Hi, it’s me again…
I feel really bad, i wanto to know how to tell to my sister that i’m not okay, i feel brave, that’s the first time in my life that i beg for help, i feel lonely in a room full of people, i want to get better.
My boyfriend is mad at me, just because i say something and that’s wasn’t okay and normally he stay by my side until i was okay, but he don’t do that anymore, he leave and told me “talk with me when you be okay” and i feel really sad, i don’t wanna be like that, please i need help, i’m drowing, i can’t with all that, i need a hug and hear that everything is gonna be okay.

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Hey @Impala67,

I feel really bad, i wanto to know how to tell to my sister that i’m not okay, i feel brave, that’s the first time in my life that i beg for help, i feel lonely in a room full of people, i want to get better.

This is so powerful. You ARE brave. And every time you reached out here, you were too. I’m really glad to hear that you want to reach out to your sister. For this kind of situation, personally I don’t think there’s truly a right or wrong way to share what’s on your heart. Because it’s about how you feel, and how you feel is always valid. It’s just about your heart. It doesn’t have to match any criteria. Maybe you can ask yourselves some questions to organize your ideas if you need. For example: what matters to you/what is important to you to express? What are the things you’re comfortable to share/not comfortable with? What are your expectations? Do you want to ask something to your sister/do you expect her to react in a certain way?

I don’t know how is your relationship with your sister, but as you’re willing to talk to her I guess you trust her. So I hope this conversation will be okay for both of you, like an opportunity to understand each other better and for her to be supportive to you. In any case, keep in mind that it’s a good thing to reach out - the reaction of the other person will be theirs, always.

My boyfriend is mad at me, just because i say something and that’s wasn’t okay and normally he stay by my side until i was okay, but he don’t do that anymore, he leave and told me “talk with me when you be okay” and i feel really sad, i don’t wanna be like that

I’m so sorry for that. Somehow this is very relatable to me. I’m currently unemployed and already feeling very guilty about it, going through quite a dark season of my life right now, and the way my partner interacts with me sometimes makes me feel like what I feel is wrong and I’m at fault. It makes me feel like a burden, even more than before. Which obviously doesn’t help. Though I can’t help thinking that he might be tired of seeing me depressed and not knowing how to help.

It’s hard to find the right balance in a relationship when one is struggling. It takes time, trials and errors as well. But I want you to know that beyond what is uniquely yours - aka between your boyfriend and you - there are some truths that remain. You’re not at fault for not being okay, whether your boyfriend stays with you or not. You’re not guilty for struggling. You’re not guilty for feeling how you feel. It’s not your fault. And the fact that you’ve been reaching out here, and now willing to discuss with your sister, shows how much you are willing to try to change this situation. But it takes time as well. And that is something your boyfriend might need to understand too. He doesn’t have to be your therapist - some healthy boundaries are to be set though. But there still might be different ways to interact with each other, so you can keep a loving, caring and compassionate environment for both of you. Do you think it would be okay to try to discuss with him about the situation? Or maybe some time is needed both for you and him - which would be okay too. In any case, I hope this situation with him will be better with time. Hope there will be more opportunities for mutual understanding and love, even through the difficult moments that you might experience on your end.

I’m sending you all the hugs. You got this, Impala. You’re able to make those positive steps for your well being. You are loved and care for. You are not alone. And you’ll be okay. :hrtlegolove:

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Hi, i know is late for an answer, but thank you.
Yeah, i been feeling brave, but i haven’t talk with my sister what’s going on with me, i was really scared and suddenly she say things that hurt me a lot and i feel like i can’t talk with she or my father.
I’m glad that i have a boyfriend and a mother who listen and don’t judge me, i feel like i can trust they and be safe.
Well our relationship with my sister is weir, we talk and share some things, but we don’t talk about personal things and if we are sad we don’t say anything, i act like i’m normal.
Yeah, but lately we been talking and laughting, i feel better by his side.
I’m sorry that you be unemployed and is okay to feel that way, i feel like you say sometimes, but my mother in law told me, is okay to have moments with your partner that you can’t understand each other, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, is like not because you are depressed, he hates you or you hate him, is clear that you love him and i understand, but is not your fault, you and i have a mental issue, we need to go with a terapist and find ways to get better, if he loves you, he will stay the time that’s nessesary when you decide to change for you and him…
You can think in the things and the people who is around you, they love you, just like you love they.
Yeah, is hard and a bullshit, but it take some time to heal.
Thank you for your lovely words, it means a lot to me.
Always keep fighting, no matter what.
Yeah, my heart hurts sometimes, but they will understand some day.
Yes, thank u.
Yes we talk and we are better, he’s just worried about me and doesn’t know how to help me.
No, i don’t wanna take a time without him, i love him and i am capable to deal with any situation that the life present me.
Thank you so much, the experience is hard, but we can do anything, the love can do everything.
How do you say to thedeath?
NOT TODAY. :sparkling_heart:
I hope you be okay too.
I send you a warm hug too, you are not alone too, you matter, you are important and beautiful.

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Hey @Impala67,

No worries for the late answer! It’s totally okay. Mine is quite late as well, hehe.

Yeah, i been feeling brave,

You know what? It’s awesome to see you writing this. I’m so glad you feel that way. Seriously, I hope you allow yourself to sit with that feeling and enjoy it when it’s here. You are brave indeed. You’re doing great. :hrtlegolove:

Well our relationship with my sister is weir, we talk and share some things, but we don’t talk about personal things and if we are sad we don’t say anything, i act like i’m normal.

I see what you mean. It’s a different level of intimacy when everyone wants to keep up appearances. It’s been like this in my own family for a very long time and I’ve been repeatedly the one who breaks the ice - which is both a scary and uncomfortable position. In the end, what matters is that you have safe people around with whom you can talk about almost everything. It sounds that your mother and your boyfriend are those people, which is truly awesome.

I hope with all my heart that your relationship with your sister will keep improving. There’s a hope that you will find different ways to communicate so you can both be true to yourself and just… be you!

Thank you also for your kind words. It’s very precious to me. And I want to quote you back:

How do you say to the death?
NOT TODAY.

Take care friend. You are so loved. :hrtlegolove:

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