Subconscious mistakes

HeartSupport Progress
1

Now that I’m slowly opening up to healing, I need to become aware of what is preventing me from moving on to a better future.

For the longest time, I’ve had poor social skills. I know I mentioned them a few times before, but I do mean it when I say they’re terrible.
I don’t know how to properly express myself, in the sense that I won’t be made fun of for it. For example, whenever I speak up in a conversation with my classmates, in the past and in the present, I’m almost always met with “who asked?”, “shut up”, “you don’t have the right to an opinion”, things like that.

I honestly don’t know what I’m doing wrong here. I’m just trying to engage in the topic at hand.

And it’s not just my opinions either.
Whenever I’m not being quiet in my own little bubble, I’m made fun of by my other classmates for being so ‘weird’ (i.e, I have a small habit of having t rex arms, and some fucko will point it out say “are you a furry!?”).

And probably my biggest hurdle so far:
I don’t know how to make meaningful connections.

Never, in my entire life, was there a moment when I had a genuine friend to hang out with. And even when I found an interesting person, it’s often just a weak acquaintence type of bond. And when I really try to socialize more, I end up pushing them away because I keep following them whenever I see them.

I just don’t know how people can just walk up to a person they find cool and plan out when to hang out after school or work.

I really need some advice. I’ll take anything…
I just don’t know how to undo this damage.

2 Likes
2

Hey Cora, I know where you’re coming from. I’m also still in school and I also struggle with making meaningful connections and I also suck at social skills. I’m not in any place to give advice, I certainly wouldn’t say ignore them because certainly that’s a choice, but that’s also a choice usually never made, but maybe try that. I’ve slowly started just realizing how pointless their comments are and how much farther I can make it than them, and I feel like that’s something important you should think of. I don’t know about the last part, about planning hangouts and stuff, I struggle with that because I get backed out on everytime

2 Likes
3

Hi, Cora.
I also don’t have any advice for you. I can only sympathize with you because I live a very similar existance. I don’t have a clue why people take things I say so different than what I am trying to say. I try to convince myself, since I am so different than everyone else, there must be something in my future (some good thing) that requires an “out of the box” person to fill the space. Try not to be down on yourself because of what others say. (but if you are, that’s ok. it’s normal to have those feelings). You are incredibly unique, special, and awsome! Thanks for posting. Earlier in my life, I used to think my uniqueness was a blessing, sometimes it seems like a curse. I’ll try to keep remembering I am wonderfully made just the way I am. Will you do the same?

1 Like