Hello I’m new on here. My grandfather died suddenly last week and the whole time I have been feel really down and like I can’t let out my emotions because I need to be strong for my family. I was trying to hangout with a girl I like who said she wanted to just be my friend but gave me mixed signals. On Friday night I was supposed to hang out with her she never said anything and I stayed up until 1am waiting to go. That night I cut myself again because everything piled up and I felt I was worthless. The next day I saw August Burns Red and it made me feel less alone. I’m now in Texas for the funeral and will have to deal with my family that doesn’t understand what I go through. I still want to be hurt and self destruct and burn the bridge with that girl. She was with her mom that was why I couldn’t hang out but I said I was just annoying and that is why she didn’t want me to hangout. Thanks for reading.
Man, really sucks to feel like life and like relationships are just falling apart…like there’s nothing you could do to make it better, to keep the pain from hitting you wave after wave. Sucks that this girl you’re into isn’t sending you the same signals back. Feels like a bummer in the middle of a season that’s already rough, having to go to your grandfather’s funeral. Especially since it was out of the blue – it took you totally by surprise, it was like a storm just appeared overhead when the skies were just blue.
I’m sorry you’re having a rough go at life in this season, man. I do know that the storm will pass, and blue skies will be ahead soon. You’re not alone in the middle of a relationship that’s confusing and unclear and mixed signals and feeling bad about yourself as a result. I’ve been there a hundred times too. Keep your head up, man. You matter --whether or not this relationship works out – you are enough. Hope the funeral is a time where you can connect with your family and grieve your loss appropriately. And hope that you’ll be uplifted again soon.
Im so sorry about your grandfather, it’s realky really rough to lose a family member, unexpectedly as well. I know it feels like you have to be strong for your family but they also have to be strong for you. Keeping those emotions bottled up and not talking about how you feel will make you feel worse. I know it can be hard to talk about how you feel to your family, as you want to be strong for them, but they will understand. They are there with you. They will support you and help you.
It sucks to have someone giving you mixed signals, especially when you like them. It may seem like she’s just trying to add to this list of things not going right in your head. But that is not your fault, if she isn’t the one then she’s not worth fighting for, for her to just turn around and push you away.
I know right now self harm feels like a way out, like doing it somehow slows everything down even if it’s just for a few minutes. I’ve been there too friend. But it’s not going to solve everything. It may feel better temporarily but the scars it leaves are permanent. Friend you are amazing and strong and brave. I know it’s hard right now but give it time, do the things that make you happy and focus on you. It will get better, I know that you are strong enough to get through this.
Hold fast friend,
Love Luna ️
Thank you Nate!
I hope it gets better soon and I hope that this time here with my family doesn’t make it worse.
Thank you Luna for the support and I know my family would be there for me but they don’t understand my depression or my thoughts of suicide and self harm. And I have been trying to not think of doing self harm or trying other ways to distract myself.
It’s a tough battle but I know you can do it. You are strong enough!