I will cut to the chase. Its not a passing thought, a blue day etc … I dont have hope anymore, my life is a screw up, im older so how will my life ever change,
the world would be better off without an unproductive failure at life wasting space on this planet.
I know where to hang myself I studied others mistakes, the right way to do it … its all I think about.
One last ditch effort I talked to my therapist … got nothing … texted suicide hotline they were busy … the mental health liason I was friends with at the police dept abandoned me … so I’m trying this because I don’t know what else to do … I can’t get out of bed shower comb my hair im lifeless and tired of existing and there seems no end in sight … I wish there were real angels that would come save me because im too weak depressed listless to help myself … Im lost
@TreasureDoll
Hi im Lisa, I am so so grateful that you are giving this a chance, you are trying everything which means you have not given up and I can’t tell you just how relieved I am to hear that.
I hear you when you say how you are feeling and I am so sorry that you are having those thoughts. Your life is not an unproductive waste, your life is as precious and important as anyone else and you deserve to know that.
I do not know you and I don’t know your story but you have written here and now you and your life matters to me and I want you to live to know that you are loved and that you are so very important. Please text the hotline again, call them keep trying. I know its hard but you are worth that effort.
Much love to you.
Lisa
Hey, I hear you and know what it’s like to feel abandoned by services that should support. I’m sorry that’s happened to you, but I’m glad you’ve come here.
By older, I’m not sure how old you are, but I’m in my 30s and changing my life around. There is no cut off age for not being able to change.
We’re here and we want to support you
It’s hard to ask a person who’s been let down to keep trying, but I assure you there are a few people around who can and will help. It sounds like your current contacts, and even the suicide text line has failed you, but as you say, you’re in a situation where you need more strength than is available to you. In such an emergency, it’s okay to use your local emergency number, which is 911 where I’m at. An ER will find you help. Hospitals have social workers and mental health facilities at their disposal. It’s time to let someone care for you in the way that you need.
the very fact that you reached out on here does bring me hope that you haven’t given up, that you’re still willing to fight. so thank you for coming to the HS community… i am here for you, i love you, and i value you. thank you for being here today and connecting with us all.
the planning that you’ve put into this and knowing how you’ll carry through with the action shows me how close things have gotten and how thankful i am that you still are here with us today. i’m so incredibly sorry that all those previous resources failed you. i hope that whether it’s a change in therapists, reaching out to a close contact to help you back on your feet again, or even receiving a med plan, you are able to regain that ability to care for yourself, in small/steady steps.
life can change though and with that change will come newfound hope. moving to a new location, starting a new hobby/routine, even getting a small fish to help you look forward to a new day will all help in your recovery. i got a dog early last year to help me when i hit a similar low as you, where i also had thought through specifics of my suicide. and since then, i have focused my energy that i would have spent on planning my end on caring for my dog. so there are ways to get through this, to look forward to a better tomorrow. and if there’s anything i can do to support you in that, please reach out. i am here for you always.
