Suicide may be the answer but, i feel like i can be better but cant

Words cant describe how much i am hurting right now. it feels like its reality, it feels like its down hill. its a constant battle. it feels like word coming into your head ripping you apart. it feels like i’m drowning in my thoughts.
Its hard to stay clean when you battle demons, your own thoughts. it feels like suicide is the only thing that would work even though its not , its just toxic feelings. Feeling like your better off dead because how i feel like i’m alone, that i’m a failure, that i’m a burden, that i’m not good enough, that i’m better off dead. i’m just to dang sensitive, i’m just effing weak. these feelings just coming over and attacking me like a war battle. Even though i’m a year clean from self harm, it feels like you don’t want to relapse but it feels like i want to die. these feelings are wrecking me i cant help that i’m sensitive . maybe it would just be better if i would just die, that i wouldn’t be missed . I’m sorry i’m a burden , i’m sorry i’m not enough or even good enough. i’m just a person who’s a failure, not good enough. a wreck, that i’m nothing . I’m not worth of any of your guy’s time i’m sorry i’m like this i just cant anymore . i am just. broken .i’m done pleasing people who are just gonna see me feel hurt and emotional . i’m nothing . i know i say this a lot but i’m sorry. i don’t know what else to do i don’t want to burden anyone else.


trying to not to relapse is both easy and hard i just dont know what else to do cause my thoughts , you know… anything of advice could help …

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I would suggest occupying your mind so you don’t focus on these thoughts.
I would suggest other coping mechanisms. Yet I find distraction the best tool even though I know a lot of people may frown on it.

I resonate with almost everything you’ve mention. You’re not alone.

Be strong.

Ashley, you are NOT A BURDEN! We care about your safety and want to make sure you’re OK! If you feel like your going to self-harm, we’d would want you to reach out for help!

I honestly relate to this so much. But know that life holds great things in store for you. Even if you don’t know what yet. You can pull through. Keep fighting!