Last Thursday I finally got permission from my gynaecologist to get a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus)
I am absolutely happy with that, I was having so much pain every month and all the other treatment options don’t really help. That thing has cost me so much pain, stress, decrease in mental health and cancelling work that I am pleased I can get rid of it at last. I am looking forward to not being sick once every month.
The only thing is that now I have once again gone down the rabbithole of worry and anxiety. I don’t yet know when the surgery is so I don’t dare to make a lot of plans bc I might have to cancel them. And the plans I did make already (mainly theater shows) I worry I might have to cancel. And yet I have to wait until I have had an appointment with the anesthesiologist, only after that appointment they can give me an estimate or planning when the surgery will take place.
I also worry about the recovery period. I live alone and my family all live at least 25 minutes away (which is considered quite far in the area where I live)
Some hospitals say not to walk stairs or at least as little as possible. But I live in a 2 floor appartement, so downstairs are bathroom and kitchen and upstairs are my bed and shower.
There might be a possibility to stay in a ‘care hotel’, but I am not yet sure if my insurance really covers that. Their website says they do but they need to give permission. And I have to ask my guardian as well as she is responsible for my money. I can anyway not phone them so I have to wait at least until after the weekend.
My house is still a big mess, which ofcourse is not a good environment to recover in. So I have already started a bit of decluttering. It just goes very slowly as I have very little energy and have trouble deciding where and how to start. Luckily Monday somebody from an organisation that helps people clear up their houses will come and see me. They might be able to help me. The appointment was already made before I knew about the surgery but it is a very lucky coincidence.
I get angry at myself for worrying so much, especially since this surgery will have a lasting positive effect on both my physical and mental health.
It is just all the unknown factors that have started to creep into my mind and make me spin around in useless circles.
Any tips or advice is welcome, thank you in advance!
I wish you a rapid recovery. Anxiety is understandable, especially since you aren’t able to schedule your life around the surgery, not knowing when it’ll happen.
I think decluttering is a wonderful idea. I think you’ll be amazed at how it affects your mood. Not knowing where to start the process is an almost universal issue for people. I suggest starting with just one thing. Then you can think about the next thing you’d like to lay your hands on and relocate. In other words, rather than look at what feels like an insurmountable job, take it in small steps, those that you can visualize doing without difficulty.
If a care hotel isn’t an option, consider a plan to sleep on the first floor, either getting a cot or bed to put there temporarily. If you have someone coming to help declutter, they may be able to get you help in setting up a downstairs sleeping arrangement.
Thank you for your kind reply! I have been trying to declutter before but somehow usually make more mess. But I am hoping with the motivation of the upcoming surgery things will go better.
I had been thinking about a bed in the living room, but as the couch already hardly fits I really don’t see how a bed could fit. The appartment is fine for me, it just is small. And even if somehow a bed would fit downstairs I still would have the problem of where to shower. As the shower is upstairs as well. And my kitchen sink is not quite suitable.
So I guess for at least the first week or 2 weeks a care hotel would be the best option. I can explain the situation to my health insurance, hopefully they will understand. Only more day of waiting until I can do that.
And today I will maybe declutter one more small box, even if it goes slow I am still happy with every little step of progress
Update: I saw the anesthesiologist today. He approved the surgery, so that is ok. Sadly nobody could give me a proper estimate as to when surgery will take place. And if all goes well they will send me home the same day of the operation. Where I will be all alone, and my last surgery (on my foot) that was a nasty experience. I am kind of hoping they will keep me overnight, maybe bc of low blood pressure or some other complication. Just so I won’t have to be alone after major surgery with general anesthetics.
I am really stressed out and my family just tells me to relax and not worry so much
Hey @leapyeargirl,
Having the surgery approved is a great step! Another one that moves you closer to this goal, which will hopefully provide a LOT of relief for you after the period of recovery post-surgery.
I think it’s completely understandable to be stressed out by this perspective and surgery though. Even if it’s to provide something good in your life, it’s still an important change, and all the “details” that need to be anticipated before the surgery can surely feel overwhelming. You’re aboutto experience somethingnew, so that raises questions andit surelyhelps to fee prepared and/or have some clear perspectives regarding how things are going to be. Personally, whenever something a little bit “out of my routine” happens in my life or is scheduled, I tend to feel a lot more stressed before it - not necessarily because of the event itself, but because I get easily overwhelmed with the preparation of it. This is something that a lot of people feel before going on vacations for example. There’s this feeling that everything needs to be anticipated and prepared so that you don’t get caught up by any unpleasant surprise.
Hopefully your surgery will happen soonfor you so your anxiety could give you a break for a bit. If anything, it looks like you are preparing everything like a real champion by anticipating your needs already. The decluttering was indeed a significant step and I hope it went well with the person who were going to come and help you. Being in a clean/organized environment will definitely be a relief that your future self will thank you for!
It’s good to hear also that your family is present for you even if they are somewhat far away. They don’t seem to fully understand how this perspective makes you feel, but I hope that they could eventually be more present and support you during your time of recovery. On the other side, how is it going with the idea of a care hotel? Did you start to have some perspectives and answers for this since you posted?
Thinking of you and sending good toughts your way!
An hour after you posted this I found an email of the hospital in my mailbox. They have scheduled my surgery for May 2nd. They say it could be subject to change, when there is an emergency for example. But they are trying their utmost to have me operated on May 2nd. It is such a relief to finally have a date! I have been busy cancelling some appointments and theater visits that fall in the 6 week recovery period. There is still lots to do, the decluttering already helped but there is so much in my appartment that is cluttered. But I know I have about 3 weeks to get it ready, at least in such a way that I can move around without troubles.
I discussed the option of a care hotel with my guardian (she governs my finances) and she suggested to keep my savings intact. Because I just got a new comfortable bed and at home I have my own bathroom. So I decided to go back home after surgery. My mom offered to recover at their place, but I would have to sit in a car for 30 minutes. And I always sleep badly at their house and would not be comfortable. I felt a bit bad about declining the offer but I think it is the best choice. My mom will be here to help clean the whole house before surgery. So at least I will return in a clean home.
I think with every bit of preparation a bit of the mental burden will be released.
Thanks for your kind reply!