Hey guys,
I know I’m not on as much as I used to be, and I’m sorry.
I’ve had a lot going on, between getting ready for college, and work
I’m a summer camp counselor, working hard on 12 hour days 6 days a week for next to no pay (seasonal work, so no minimum wage or maximum hours).
What does this add up to? A physically and mentally tired me, with little time to browse through HS.
If any of you need to talk to somebody, please, message me. I love you all, and hopefully I’ll be able to get back to replying more often once work is over
Forge On,
~Danny
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Danny,
Sounds like you’re in a place where you simultaneously enjoy what you do but feel completely exhausted by it. As you are exhausted, your capacity for joy drains, and you feel yourself just trying to make it through. All the while, you feel a sense of obligation to this community, and that obligation is weighty and makes you feel even more burdened and exhausted to think that you aren’t coming through for others…but in the place you’re in, you have nothing to give and are just trying to hold on long enough to make it to the end of the day. By writing this post, you feel you’re correcting the perception others might have that you’ve abandoned them or let them down, and by doing that you are hoping to release yourself from that thought that only adds to the exhaustion…
First off, sounds like you’ve got a crazy load on your shoulders, man. I see the nobility of your effort, your desire to love others and to come through them…and it is good. Your heart is good.
As hopefully a helpful note…whatever you offer to people or to this community is all bonus. It’s not expected, it’s not a debt you must pay, your previous efforts do not necessitate future participation…it’s all bonus. Your baseline is zero give, is just to receive…anything you give is bonus. Thank you for all you give. I hope that this could be a gift you receive of laying down any ill-fitting burden, and that you’d receive a soul-sized responsibility that is light and easy.
-Nate
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