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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Schism by Tool
Taylor this has been one of my favorite Tool songs since first seeing them in 93’ at Lallapooloza, 99’ at the first Coachella, and recently in Ontario, California. For me every song that I listen to deeply touches me for certain events in my life. For example when I hear Sober it brings me to how I was feeling what I was feeling like it was an emotion I can still feel in real time. How you broke this song down explained for me all the things I couldn’t get out in words to relay to my ex wife. I’m a medically retired Navy Combat Medic and was injured in Afghanistan in 2011 and went through six straight years of intense therapy and worked through alot of issues related to my ptsd and anxiety. Unfortunately it just hasn’t been enough to help get through second marriage its a longer story than I care to share in this space but I thought that I would comment because you asked to if we were going through these things. Thank you for your insight especially from a band that is my #1 favorite band of all time
Thank you for sharing what you are going through with us. I am sorry for the struggles you are having to endure in regards to your mental health and relationships. If you would like a space to potentially share the longer parts of your story in. There is always forum.heartsupport.com. We are there if you ever want/need to share more, and don’t want to do it on the social media platform you found us on. Regardless I hope you can find some answers to the things you have been struggling with. Stay strong<3
It’s fascination how different music can echo different parts of our life. Once you start listening to it again, it feels like you are brought back to a season you’ve known already. Sometimes with nostalgia, sometimes with sadness and grief, and sometimes just to the way you were feeling at the time. I like how it helps seeing ourselves grow and progress in our life. We listen to a song and can see this past version of us, while also being fully aware that we are not there anymore, that since then we have grown, matured, experienced so many other things that we may not have even imagined in the past.
Thank you for sharing how Sober is a song that personally reconnects you to some old and familiar emotions you’ve experienced before. I sounds like, even if you were not aware of it at the time, this song has played a fundamental role in supporting you and validating the things you were feeling internally. Sometimes words are too difficult to find, or too painful to say. It makes our hurt more real and present, almost inescapable. Thankfully there was something in Maynard’s words that helped you maybe to feel less alone at the time, even if in your life there was this emotional disconnection with your now ex wife.
It’s awfully painful to feel like something in you has been broken to the point of isolating yourself from the people you love. It’s like seeing them from behind a mirror. You see them, you scream for them, you reach your hand to them but nothing comes out of the mirror to them. On their end, they see their own reflection, feeling they lost you and are not able to see you anymore, to see the person they know. There’s nothing more heartbreaking that feeling emotionally disconnected from someone you love while you actually put in the work of trying to overcome that very struggle. I see you and hear all the efforts you’ve done to work on your own traumas, and I’m really sorry that it was not enough to help your marriage survive.
I hope that, despite what happened in this relationship, you can find pride and strength in the very fact that you have not been pushing away your own demons, and on the contrary you’ve been actively facing them. That is something profoundly honorable, inspiring, and speaks about the beauty of your heart.