Telling my dad about my sexuality

TW- mention of abuse and suicidal ideation
I’m really sorry for making a new post, I know I should probably just stick to the other one, I just felt like this was kind of more progress.

I got a chance to talk to my dad and his partner. She offered to leave when I said I needed to tell him something, but I know how much she supports and loves him and I figured it was fair to show her a part of me too.
I told them that I was gay and I know it’s a bit of a shock to hear that and they had to take a moment to figure out what to say or how to react.

Dad asked me that was why I had been “attacked”. I guess he assumed someone found out I was gay and maybe beat me up. I told him it was sort of the reason.
The partner clicked on a bit faster and she didn’t say anything in front of dad. She came to my room later and asked me if someone took sexual advantage of me. I told her she was right and she hugged me for a while. I asked her not to tell dad just yet, and she promised she wouldn’t.

Over two weeks ago I was sure I had to end my life. I don’t as much now, but it’s still been hard.


You’re loved and you matter friend, and your family are showing you this too!

I’m glad she understood, and that you have someone you trust knows now and sort of understands. You were very brave, glad it went well.

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Friend, I am not sure I even have the words for the pride I feel for you. The strength you have shown is beyond me.
Both your Dad and his partner sound loving, caring and so supportive and I hope that between you all you can work through this.
One thing I also would like you to think about but only if you think you need to at some point is some therapy but again that is for you to decide on in time, perhaps talk to your dad or his partner about it.
I would love you to keep in touch and let us know how you are.
You are right the last two weeks you have experienced more that a lot of people do in a life time but you have been incredible. Now its time to really just take care of yourself,
We are always here for you. Much love Lisa. x

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Oh friend, I am so proud of you for being so brave and vulnerable with your story. It takes so much courage to speak up sometimes. I’m just so proud and happy that you’ve made the choice to tell your truth. I’m also heartbroken that you had to experience the things you went through to get to this point. It’s often in these moments when we find out just what we’re made of. You’re brave, strong, courageous and so loved. Life is worth living. Your life is worth living. Your story is worth telling. Your truth is worth living. I hope that you’ll keep us updated on your progress. Wishing you nothing but the best, friend.

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Wow - goosebumps. I am SO IMPRESSED by your courage. At a loss for words here. You were in a dark, dark tunnel, and you chose to keep going, and you made it to a lighter place - not that things are “all better”, but you’re unstuck now, and that is PROGRESS. Worth celebrating. So, so proud of you. THANK YOU for making this brave choice, and for sharing it with us. Well done.

→ Also, what an amazing decision to let your dad’s partner in on it as well - and that it led to such immediate understanding and compassion from her? Man. Amazing.

So excited for you.


Thank you all so so so much.
@Sita My dad’s partner is a very understanding person, she’s always been so generous and kind. I know I made things hard for her initially but I’d like to think that we are close now.

@Lisalovesfeathers thank you, it’s definitely something I’m looking into. It’s kind of like just ripping off the abundáis of fear. I’ve come this far, why not a little more, right?

@JennaLouise ”your truth is worth living” is seriously the best thing I want to live by.

@NateTriesAgain thank you for your endless encouragement and words. You don’t know how much they’ve meant to me and how much I sat with them during this heavy time.

I feel like I owe you all so much more than words.


@PaperKites you getting through the last few weeks, watching your strength and how hard you have fought to get where you are now is more than enough. That brings a light to my heart that nothing else could. It means everything to hear you refer to your future. You are awesome xx

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My dad’s partner helped me tell my dad briefly what happened. There were tears. I told my dad I still don’t want to really reveal who it was. I’m going to see a therapist next week. I’m hoping it’ll help with the fear and the thoughts/memories. Especially at night trying to fall asleep.
I feel really uncomfortable with my body. I hate it. I don’t want to act on hurting myself because I don’t want to keep blaming myself. I feel if I hurt myself I’ll lose. In a way I want to forgive myself for not being able to be stronger.

Thank you all for encouraging me to reach out.


Hello my friend, I drew you a simple picture today, Im not great at art but I like to doodle on paint. I used your name as the idea. Then I found out that the paperkites are a rockband lol well I certainly cant draw one of those but I hope this makes you smile anyway. You, your story, your bravery have meant a great deal to me. x



This is incredible self-awareness, and huge self-control.

This is freaking brilliant.

Honestly, I’m just so encouraged by where your head is at. You’re thinking along the right lines, looking in the right places for help, giving yourself grace where you need to have boundaries and slow progress, and also aiming in the right direction, targeting things that matter, keeping your mind straight. This is SO encouraging.

Really pumped for you.

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You made this for me?! Are you serious?! That is so cool, so kind! I really really love this. Thank you so so much!


@paperkites checking in. Thought of you recently :slight_smile: <3

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Hey Nate! I’ve been doing pretty good! I have been talking to a therapist and for now I’m going to take a semester off uni or maybe come back next year and do a bit of work and stay with my dad and his partner.

It was really nerve racking going to talk to someone about all that happened and about how I’m feeling, but it’s been getting easier to move forward and not sit fearing everything.


Yes!! So amazing!! That is such huge progress. What a breakthrough. Proud of you Paperkites! Strong work :slight_smile:

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Big news, the person who assaulted me has been expelled and someone else has come forward to press charges against them.
And my dad proposed to his partner so she’s going to be my official stepmother and I couldn’t ask for a better person to fill that role.


Oh @PaperKites, I literally just opened up the forum and you posted this 1hour ago. What a way to start my Saturday. I am so pleased that, that dreadful person has recieved some punishment for some of what they have done and I truly hope it gives you some level of peace knowing hopefully if justice is done you will never bump into that person again.
The news about your new “official” stepmum is also wonderful news for you and your family, she does sound like a truly lovely person and a great source of support to you and your Dad.
It is beyond me how far you have come since your first post here and I will forever be proud and thankful for you. Lisa xx :green_heart:

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yay that that person is now gone! I hope that this news can help you feel a bit safer on campus now, and that it helps with your healing.

And super exciting news about your new official step-mom! she sounds like an awesome and wonderful person! thanks for sharing this with us. You deserve all the good things in life!

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Wow - amazing. Things are looking up, friend. So excited for you / proud of you for persevering through the dark to get to the light.

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Hey @PaperKites just checking in to see how you’re doing

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Hey Nate, thanks for checking in. I’ve been in contact with the person who’s pressed charges and it’s a frustrating wait to get through the first stage of everything.

I’ve been talking to my roommate as well and he told me he has feelings for me which was a surprise hah, but we are taking it slow.
My dad and stepmom said I could invite him to their wedding which was so nice of them.

And I’ve been learning to feel safe in my body and around others. It’s not totally easy to trust people, but hopefully it comes in time