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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Sick Boi Ren
Thank you for your words, I have severe chronic PTSD since birth, there’s no support, it feels like there just getting a paycheck off the misery of another
I’m sorry you have been having trouble finding support in your life for the things that you are going through. It’s never fun to feel like you are just a paycheck to those who are supposed to be helping you. If you ever feel like sharing more please feel free to do so. I’m not sure if its great support, but we are definitely willing to read and reply to anything you feel like sharing. Hope you are having an alright day, and can find some relief to what you are going through with time. <3
Chronic ptsd is very heavy to deal with and so very isolating at the same time. I don’t know how old you are right now, but I imagine how exhausted you must feel as you’ve been dealing with this since birth. I have chronic PTSD too, and even though I can tell that some things are getting better in my life, it is definitely a condition that has always made me feel very alone and broken at my core. It is so hard when you have to deal with this from such a young age and are forced to internalize that it’s going to be a part of your life. Especially as a kid, you see other children experiencing life in a very different way, which makes you wonder why you couldn’t get that chance. Why you had to be mature very early, why you had to have this emotional consciousness that is so much more present, why you couldn(t grow up in a way that would have allowed you to feel more carefree. Chronic PTSD adds this gravity and seriousness to your life, and it’s really hard for people who don’t experience that to understand how it feels.
I’m sorry that you haven’t got so far a good support system and that it feels like you are just surviving and fighting on your own. For what if worth, I see a lot of strength and bravery in you by the fact that you are here today and you’re not letting this condition define you. You are able to name it and to see how it affects you. But it’s hard to develop safe and healthy connections with people that could help us heal when the trauma itself comes from relationships and being hurt by people we trusted. There must have been so many days when you have felt unsafe but you have not let the fear take over all the time. You pushed through, you survived, and that’s speaks a lot about your strength and resilience.
It’s hard to be in a place where it feels like life has no flavor, that there is this monotony of waking up, going to work, going to bed, rinse and repeat. It is the kind of rhythm that makes you feel like your inner spark is slowly fading away and you would have no way to find it again.
I hope you will keep reaching out or at least try because if you feel alone right now then you absolutely deserve to find the connections that would help reduce that heaviness. This life can be pretty wild but you absolutely deserve to find your way through it and to be supported as you go. There is a fire in you that is not extinguished. I believe in you and in your ability to feel it again and embrace it in order to live the life that you aspire to get. Hold fast, friend.