The disease of happiness

I don’t really need anyone to respond

I’m not saying I don’t want to be happy. I just don’t want to fight every day to be. I don’t want to shove medications that someone prescribed me down my throat in the hopes that hopefully today will be a mediocre day where life has to keep fucking slowly and mundanely pass.
I just don’t want to persist in the fucking nightmare of working for the next 40 years.
And I don’t need to hear cliches right now. Not because I don’t appreciate the thoughts behind it, I just needed a space to dump all this so I can forget it so I can keep hoping that today and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow won’t fucking suck.