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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Daddy By Korn
The first time I heard this I just sat there with my eyes closed and I felt his pain reminding me how I felt when something similar happened to me when I was 8. Still gets me all these years later and I’m 51 now.
This is definitely a powerful song. A catalyst and expression of the pain that so many have been through when they were young. It’s powerful when something so ugly and hard to put into words can be conveyed through the music and lyrics of someone else. There’s no doubt they put their entire souls and sweat in it, and it’s impossible to not feel affected by it, whether the trauma it highlights is one we’ve suffered or not. It’s great to have these outlet help give a voice to those who can’t speak, and a relief for emotions that need to be externalized.
I feel for you, for the child you were and for the adult you are today. You were hurt in a way that words seem to be insufficient to describe, and the hurt you’ve shared in your comment conveyed all its heaviness. Somehow, it doesn’t matter how much time has passed, the pain is still present over the years. It hits unexpectedly sometimes. It may not hurt the same way as we grow and heal of course, but sometimes it still feels as if it happened just yesterday. The mind and the body remembers in ways that are so deep and unique. To me personally, it sometimes feel like a part of me keeps on living in the past, in this state of trauma when it all happened, while another is growing and has found their way out of it. Sometimes the pain keeps you by surprise, it makes you wonder if you’ve progressed at all. But you are here today, and that is the best proof of all.
I hope you are proud of yourself for pushing through these years and living your life, despite what happened to you when you were just a child. We know how heavy it can be to acknowledge and process the depth of such trauma, let alone to talk about it. It takes a lot of courage to keep showing up every single day after knowing that type of fear and hurt. The world felt unsafe and full of evil, but by being here you have persevered in seeing what else it could have to offer, and that you absolutely belong. I think it is something that is not enough seen, valued or celebrated for what it is. The perseverance that remains invisible to the eyes. He resilience you forget within through days and nights of crying and feeling hopeless. But I see you right now, I feel this pain with you and hope that you are now in a place where you feel satisfied with your life. That you feel at your core that you absolutely matter and belong in this world, and what others did to you will never change your worth and value. The shame belongs to them entirely.
Thank you so much for sharing about these parts of your story and your experience with this song. It’s an honor to read your comment and getting to know you a little bit.
Hold Fast,
-Micro