Hey guys, so basically, a couple of weeks ago me and the girl I’ve been seeing took a step up and made it official. She’s been there for me through so much in the last year, including when I lost one of my closest friends at the beginning of the year. She has been every bit of strength and courage that I’ve needed and I truly do think the absolute world of me. Well with a week into us making it official, she to lost one of her closest friends. She since broke it off with me so she could clear up her thoughts and emotions (something I fully support her on) bit recently the last two weeks, she’s been coping really badly with everything. And she won’t talk to anyone except me. It’s just she’s very independent (I mean jeez she’s been raising her little girl on her own for the past 5 years) so she doesn’t rely on anyone. But she does me. But recently she’s said about ending it all. And I won’t lie, but I’m terrified that she will get to that point. I’ve been giving her all of my courage, strength and support. Regardless of not being 100% myself. It’s just that she’s not just the woman I’ve fallen in love with, she’s so much more than that. She’s become my best friend, my adventure buddy, literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Her little one too. It’s just losing her like this that would destroy me. And her little girl too. And I don’t really know how to help her through it Apart from taking her mind off of it and showing that I’ll be there no matter what. I just don’t know what to say or do to help her through her grief and through this really dark depression she’s got. She has a history with mental health but she never talks about it. I don’t want to pressure her into talking about it, but I also feel that addressing the situation would help a lot more than she realises. If anyone could drop me some advice I’d be so bloody grateful. And with this I’m thinking more of her little one and her family far beyond just how I feel about her. I just need some help to make her see how much she’s loved. Even loved by her best friends family.
@Luke_S first off man so proud of you loving on a single mother. It takes a lot of patience and love. I understand that I had a friend who is a single mother and I am always trying my best to love her the best I can. helping her and loving her the same way you have been is the best way to go about this. You are not Christ nor am I. We can only love imperfectly and we must do our best. Addressing concern is always the greatest thing do to in this situation. Do not be so up front about but be you my man. I seriously and proud of you and we just met. You sir are one of kind. remember actions speak louder than words. Show that she is loved and cared for. keep us updated!
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-Morgan Vincent Hochstetler
One thing I can tell you is to keep being there for her. Keep supporting her and letting her know you’re not going anywhere through this. And show her she’s loved and matters to so many people. You don’t need to tell other people her business- (Serious side note here, unless you think she’s actually a danger to herself, in which case PLEASE tell others and get her help and to safety) but maybe ask people she loves and love her to send some love and encouragement her way. Maybe you can look up grief support groups in her area, and offer to go with her to one. Not isolating in grief is a super important thing. And believe me, I get her side, feeling independent and like you need to do it alone- but that’s a big lie. Being vulnerable with how you feel is the biggest shows of strength. But really, all you can do is be there for her, encourage her to seek some help, and remind her of the impact she has on the world. Especially her little one’s world. Maybe remind her that her little girl needs her, and needs a healthy her. Gonna repeat what I said about doing whatever you can to intervene if you really think she’s in danger of suicide- her life is worth more than her wanting to keep this to herself.
I think it’s awesome that you’re so supportive of her. Keep it up. And hey, take care of yourself through this too. Make sure you’re getting support too. We’re here for you!
Hey guys, sorry for such a late reply. I’ve been doing what you guys have said and just supporting her as much as possible. There’s times where she becomes very closed off and I don’t know how to really get around that. As I don’t want to be too overwhelming with her. And honestly, thank you so much for the support and encouragement. I really appreciate it! So so much! And I’m keeping myself going as best I can. And keeping as positive as I can. Just worried a fair bit about her, more than anything else
Hey friend,
I believe in you. We are here for you no matter what.
Maybe introducing her to this community could be of aid, or seeking professional aid. It is hard when people isolate- but just be there for her.
Hold fast.
With love,
Lyss (ur old pal Blurryface)
Just keep doing what you’re doing and being there for her. Let her know it’s okay to struggle and grieve, but it’s equally important to talk about it. It sounds like you’re good for her, just show her that.
I did mention about Heart support and she said it’s something she will look into, and I’m encouraging her to do so, but I think that her reaching out to others as well may just come with time. Yeah I’ve been all ears since the day it happened. I can admit I may have been ignorant here and there with understanding where she’s coming from, as everyone grieves in different ways. But I’ve been doing the best I can, and I think that she can see that. It’s just going to take time and a lot of patience. Which I sometimes struggle with (the joys of having ADHD) but again she’s very understanding. The thing is she sorta changes the process, like of I’m struggling with something she’ll sort of push her feelings aside and what she’s going through to help me or others. Which I think is amazing about her. Truly it really is. But at the same time I think she’s doing it to stop herself from hurting. And I’m worried that is going to slow down her healing process. If that makes sense?
I’m really starting to struggle with this guys. I can feel myself falling apart because I’m so worried that it’s setting off my anxiety and I keep having anxiety attacks…
Hey friend,
Sorry for the late reply! How are you doing? Still struggling with anxiety?
Hey sorry for the late reply. I’ve been dealing with some stuff concerning my youngest brother as well as this issue I’ve asked for advice with and so so much more stuff has been going on with work and other personal things. But things have gotten worse with my anxiety. But I’ve managed to get appointments and stuff organised and booked to get it sorted and start fixing it. The lady in question on the other hand has blocked me on everything including my number and for the foreseeable future doesn’t want to talk to me. I feel really shit about myself right now. I just wanted to be what she needed. And I feel like because of my anxiety I’ve managed to just succeed in making her push me away instead. I’m not lying when I say she means so so much to me. And her little one too. This is the strongest I’ve ever felt for another person before. And now I’ve just ended up on my own and feeling really really crumby… the problem I’ve found is my anxiety seems to work up so much that I end up feeling stupid depressed. So thats not helping. I never wanted any of this to be about me. I just wanted to be her rock and her support. And be there for her when she needed. And now I’ve just managed to mess up yet again. Just fed up with being the way I am. I’m So pissed off with myself it’s unreal…
Hey Brother,
Just wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts/experiences on here. Personally I feel like anxiety can be so debilitating, especially when we tend to other people. It’s great that you wanted to support your gf but you must support yourself first in order to do upon others. That’s just what I personally think. From what it sounds like, you are very unselfish and that’s a great quality to have, especially in this community! Just keep being you and we’re all here to support.
Btw, I see you are/were a vocalist! What band?
Hey friend,
Really glad you’re seeking help and trying to take care of yourself. I know that’s hard and uncomfortable. I hope you find what you need to heal and make progress with your anxiety. It’s a rough thing to deal with, so I’m proud of you for recognizing that you need help! I’m sorry for the way things have gone down with your person. I can only imagine how hard this is, and how much it hurts. Friend, it’s not your fault. You tried your best, and that’s all you can do. I know it sucks that you couldn’t be what she needed, but that’s a lot of pressure on you. Sometimes we can’t be what someone needs. It’s shitty. Especially when we love them as much as it seems like you love her. I know it’s easy to, but try not to beat yourself up too much. You did what you could and tried to help her. You’re taking care of yourself right now, and I hope she’s taking care of herself and getting the help she needs too. Maybe you guys can work things out when you’re both in better states. I’m really sorry, dude. I really hope things work out for both of you in this. We’re always here if you need us!
Hey guys. I know it’s been a while. I’ve been pretty shut off trying to get back to sorting myself out. And now, after a few months, I’m kinda nearly there I think. I’ve lost a few more friends… horrendsly enough 2 to suicide and one from stage 4 cancer 
… I’m not sure how I feel to be honest. 4 people within a year seems pretty insane to think of. I’ve been kinda on my own with it all, the lass from before literally doesn’t talk to me anymore, so I think that’s pretty much it with her. And recently I’ve been pushing people away without intending too. I completely forgot about signing up to heartsupport until today. And well. I was just wondering if anyone had any solid advice. I’m nervous about starting grief counselling. Horrendously nervous to be honest… But I’m wondering if any of you guys have been to grief counselling. Or knows someone that has. And if it helps. And to sorta know what it is I need to be expecting. If anyone could possibly shine some light on this is be really grateful…
Hey friend! Glad to hear from you again. I’m so sorry to hear about you losing more people. That’s awful. But seriously, grief counseling would probably be such a good thing for you. I totally get being nervous about it. It’s scary to take that step and talk about what you’re going through and feeling. I haven’t personally been to grief counseling, but I’ve done other counseling and I know it helped me. But with grief counseling, you’re gonna get support from people who truly get it. Friends and others who care about you can try to relate and help you through it; but having a counselor or group who actually gets it makes such a difference. A good friend of mine lost her mom to suicide 4 years ago, and she’s just started grief counseling. She says it’s been freeing for her because she can talk about it with people who have been through it, and not feel any judgement or sympathy- just genuine empathy. I can speak from my own experience of going through trauma counseling- it helps so much. So I encourage you to take that step! And if it’s not the right fit for you, that’s okay too. It took me a few try’s to find a counselor I felt comfortable and understood by. And I’ve recently discovered I need to go back and do more. That’s the thing about recovery and grief- there’s no right way to get through it and no timeline you need to follow. What works for you is what matters.
I hope this helps! Good luck and we’ll be here for you through it, okay?
I really appreciate the support from you guys. Truly. Just knowing there’s support there helps in itself. Ok. I’ll keep persisting. And I’ll make sure I don’t forget about you guys or this support group. I think talking about things and trying to help others as well if I can will help as well as seeing a professional. But again thank you so much. I really really appreciate it
I saw a lot of recommendations on how to meet with a girl on the Internet, most of them are common and you should remain polite on the Internet, and to stay correct in your words. There are also other working methods that are effective in any conditions, it is to joke the way everyone like to hear it from you and to question a girl by representing your interest in her. Who knows other effective methods? Please tell me something not common in its nature.
Wow, I’m so sorry for what your loved one and friend is going through. How sad.
It sounds like she has a really good friend in you. And that you are doing an amazing job. That’s exactly what she needs. Someone who will love her unconditionally, accept her and be there for her as she goes through this hard time. You can’t ask for any more than that.
Is she able to see a therapist at all? It sounds like maybe something like that could be really beneficial to her. There is also a thing called BetterHelp. If you go into Heart Supports twitch page twitch.tv/heartsupport there is a banner for BetterHelp there that offers a 7 day free trial for the service. It does require a credit card in order to use it but as long as you cancel the membership before the 7 days is over it will NOT charge you. They also have a financial aid thing where they will lower the cost so it’s more affordable if it’s too expensive. BetterHelp allows for you to be assigned to a therapist after a series of questions. And then you have a private chat with this therapist that you have access to 24/7. You can text or make a time to video chat. I will be setting up an account here soon and using this as as well. Maybe your friend could use this?
Heart support also has a book called “Dwarf Planet” for those who are struggling with depression. It’s a great resource and is accessible. You can find it on amazon or if you are finically unable to right now, they offer the book to those who may need it at absolutely no cost to you. They will ship it to you or your friend. Here’s the link: https://heartsupport-merch.myshopify.com/products/send-me-a-dwarfplanet-book
I hope your friend finds peace my friend. That she able to heal from all of this hurt she is going through. It’s really great that she has someone like you to support her along the way. You’re a good friend.
Much love to you.
I also just realized this post is from August of 2018. I didn’t realize it when I read it. Hah. It was just at the top of the forums. So I read it.
Either way. I hope you are doing well and that your friend is doing better.