Unfortunately, this isn’t want anyone wants to hear but this is what most people need to hear.
Recovery from anything is a long challenging road but the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter and brighter each day. One of the hardest things I had to learn to do was take accountability for my actions. Actions speak louder than words and with that people make promises good people keep the promises. We’ve all fucked up, there is no way around that. You lied to your family about your addictions to drugs or you’ve lied about self harm/self sabotage. If you get asked there is no reason to lie about it, and if you did then tell the truth. That is a long road that takes time and effort. You can’t change if you don’t want to, much like you can’t teach someone who doesn’t want to learn.
Keep up your path to recovery, we’re all proud of you.