I haven’t cut myself in 8 days, and today I been getting the urge to cut myself ALL DAY. The thought is just THERE and I keep dwelling on it, I can not think about it until I give into it, because then I have the relief after it’s done… Depression is a prison in my head that I can not escape. I chose not to believe it’s a mental illness, I choose not to believe I have it! But I know I do. Maybe I’m just being indenial. I told my family not to tell me that I have a mental issue. Because if I hear them say it verbally, than it’s true. I feel stupid and crazy for this because I can’t face the reality of what myself and everyone else knows. Why can’t I just be normal?!
Depression is a hell of a thing and I am truly sorry that you are struggling with it. Being in denial about it however, will only make things worse.
Be honest with yourself. Admit your faults to yourself. Chances are you will find the depression is making things seem far worse than they are. You are only human and no one expects you to be perfect. You aren’t crazy and you aren’t worth less simply because you suffer from depression.
Not cutting for 8 days is something to be proud of. It shows you have the capacity to overcome the desire you have to cut. Even if you relapse, don’t give up. You can find a healthier way to cope with your feelings.
I believe in you. Don’t give up.
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i used to deal with self harm , yet i still do i havent relapsed yet every day i continue to fight this urge to stay clean to not do it. by the way you are normal what you face is normal. what isnt normal anyways? your emotions all normal, what you feel is normal. you are not alone .
(hope this helps you out in some what , you are loved no mater what)
First off, thank you for sharing. It takes a lot to share these feelings and these thoughts with other people but hopefully you’ll see that by sharing you will find community.
Second, be proud that you haven’t cut in 8 days. Perhaps that’s changed since posting this but ANY time that has passed where you haven’t cut be proud of that because it’s improvement, it’s progress and strength.
Additionally, you are not stupid or crazy for feeling anything. Every feeling, every emotion, every little thing in between is valid and it’s important; it matters. Also, there is no “normal”, we all have our quirks, we all have the things we’re dealing with and none of those feelings or those thoughts make us crazy or stupid or weird.
You are loved.