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Belongs to: Sleep Token - Take Me Back To Eden - Therapist's Reaction
The line “I guess it goes to show, does it not? That we’ve no idea what we’ve got until we lose it” hit really hard for me. My mind is never in the moment, its always on the worries of a tomorrow that has yet to happen. I have no idea how to live in the moment, or how to cope with the anxities that come from focusing too much on the future. Music like this song, or other songs, are what keep me grounded, even if its just for a moment.
Oh man, I listened to this song yesterday and started crying at this exact lyric (crazy to think we could have been listening at the same time) I feel the same way. Always focusing on the “what if” and missing out on the “what’s now”. It can be so hard to get out of this future tripping mindset and ground yourself in the present. Music helps me too. The other thing I try to do is focus on my sphere of control versus my sphere of concern. There are MANY things I am concerned about that I have no control over and when I focus more on those things than on the things I can control I find my anxiety is increased ten fold. For example, I might be concerned that I’m going to get sick, but that’s not something I can control, so instead of focusing on that I would focus on taking my vitamins and washing my hands. I also find that speaking my worries causes them to lose some of their power. I like to call a friend and loved one, and just let them be there for me. I really want to thank you for sharing this, because it made me feel less alone. I hope you feel that way too. Sending love <3
Yes - it’s hard to feel like you’re experience of life is a toggle between regret and anxiety - what you should have done in the past, what you need to do in the future. Feels like it means in the present you’re always experiencing some kind of loss. Some kind of failure.
I can definitely relate. During one season of therapy my therapist had me ground with a particular CBT technique - short of the long is it was something physical that helped me ground in my senses and come back to the present moment. I didn’t stick with the exercise for forever, but it gave me a new category, a new tool of “being present”. Coming back to this moment right here in my body.
One of the places I tend to experience this regret/anxiety pull is with my kids. I usually feel like I didn’t do something well enough in the past or I feel the weight of things coming up, and I miss them /right here/, right now. One of the most powerful/beautiful things that I’ve been doing instead of spiraling has been using those feelings as a trigger to then just physically LOOK at my kids. Just physically SEE them right here, right now. Combatting the regret/anxiety with coming back to the present moment. I can’t fix either the past or the future, and sometimes trying to come to present feels so underwhelming compared to the mountain of failure from my past or the mountain of worry about my future, but those moments add up and count and mean something, and it’s given me back control - and ultimately joy and connection.
I know my experience isn’t completely analogous to yours or probably even sound super helpful, but if anything I’d like to encourage you that any time you feel that way you can give yourself grace and use it as a reminder to come back to present instead of an indictment of your failure. Regret and anxiety can become tools that bring you back to center. And any moment / energy spent on this present moment /does/ matter. Its value adds up and builds beauty in your life.
Either way, hope something here is helpful and appreciate you opening up <3
YES, it is so hard to be focused on the present moment. Our anxieties just keep being present over and over, making plans regarding our future and seeking every possible outcome. Somehow, it distracts us from potentiel needs that we would have within, and it also brings a false sense of control – through our thinking. It does serve a purpose, even if the process can end up being a loop hole in which we feel stuck. What you have shared is very relatable, and I agree with you that music can be SO powerful and help us ground ourselves in the present. I like the fact that music, among other things, reconnects me with my physical senses, which gives less room for thoughts and rationalization, and a lot more to *feeling and *being in its purest form. If you even start to dance to the rhythm of the music, without worrying about what you could think about it, it gets even more deep and powerful. Overall, there are multiple activities that can help tune the anxious thoughts lower, activities that engage your body senses, and less your brain. Or at least, that it allows your brain to wander freely while you are doing something. Gardening is a neat outlet for this to me personally, as well as creativity in general. It is amazing to allow yourself times and spaces to just BE – without the layers of fears, reason, or trying to label our experiences. Reconnecting to your most innate sensations can become a daily practice, for sure. If you’re into reading, I would definitely encourage you to have a look at Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts. It’s a wonderful read on this very topic that you’ve shared here – and lots of wisdom/poetry to find out of it. Contemplation and feeling less worried over time is definitely possible for you my friend. Take care of yourself!
I can definitely relate to a lot of what you’re saying. I struggle to stay in the moment as well.
My brain can regularly be thinking about something else entirely instead of just enjoying what’s happening around me.
I worry a lot about what might happen or what could happen. Whether that’s what might happen tomorrow or what could happen with my future, both of which lead me down a spiral of anxiety.
What I’ve found personally works for me is also using music to ground me. Songs where people are expressing similar emotions to what I’m feeling really help bring me back to center. Then from there I can focus on what I can control which makes me feel empowered over my anxious thoughts.
It’s kind of a fighting back feeling where the more I focus on what I can control the more I can push out the negative what if thoughts.
Thank you for sharing and keep fighting those thoughts friend!