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Belongs to: Therapist Watches the World Burn by Falling in Reverse
The perception thing hit strong for me. Except I always hate myself. It’s just a matter of how much.
Hello! I’m curious if you have ever had time to sorta think through and analyze what makes you feel like you hate yourself? Do you feel there’s a “perfectionism” component and you don’t feel that you live up to your own expectations? Or perhaps do you feel ashamed of something that keeps impacting your life?
I ask just because it always seems to help me when I start down the road of “negative self-talk” like that. I get into a situation where my head swirls and builds things up into such daunting, overwhelming monsters in my head…but if I can force myself to kinda compartmentalize and logically organize things in my head, it always makes those monsters much less intimidating. 
Hi there!
Thank you so much for reaching out!
Unfortunately, negative self regard is a very painful and often debilitating condition. I can completely empathize with your situation - I always felt as though I was never good enough and was a complete disappointment. I felt so anxious, and this feeling followed me along from one task or life event to the next. However, one day I realized that if I was going to continue on I needed to not let my thoughts and feelings control my life; to not aim to be accepted by every person and follow a strict path I had intended for myself. This is still something I am working on, but it has gotten easier and no longer controls how I live my life or the way I try to shape how others perceive me.
In truth, you will never be able to please everyone. The one person who matters is you. So try not to listen to the negative comments and any possible perceived rejections or failures. Really focus on the positive aspects of yourself and what makes you happy, and try to capitalize on those little moments - because they do make a huge difference in the end! Maybe try to surround yourself with people who believe in you and love you until you are able to see the true worth and offerings you have to give for yourself.
Perfectionism is a very difficult mindset - because it is never really attainable. Perhaps setting specific goals that are realistic, and achieving those incrementally could make the process of self-love and acceptance a little bit more manageable.
Take care of yourself, and please remember that you are loved and valued. We are all here for you and rooting for you!