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The silence brings up regret that I could have done things differently and that I shouldn’t have rushed even though it felt right at the time. I know regret can be a waste of time if there isn’t a lesson drawn from the experience.
You can only work with available information and experience. Based on what you had to work with, you made the right decision. That’s all you can ever do. Sometimes a rush decision seems to be the only option.
It’s very insightful to realize that regret is an instrument of wisdom.
I’ve made decisions that I’ve regretted and indeed provided lessons. Years later I get around to realizing that those regrettable decisions were part of the events that brought me to where I am now. That suggests to me that maybe those decisions weren’t so regrettable after all.
It is true that silence can really highlight the pain and regrets we’ve been carrying with us silently. Somehow, it forces us to not ignore our inner dialogue anymore, and to feel all the things that have been pushed aside for too long. It’s a brutal experience, although one that also comes with a huge potential of personal growth. It takes a lot of strength already to name this experience that you’ve been having, and to put into words the fact that regrets are part of the knots that have yet to be untangled in your life.
As you said very well, with regrets can come important life lessons, but getting to this point can be a long or slow journey too. Somehow, there is a right time when we can feel like accepting things and forgiving ourselves if we need it, but until then we can be wandering into a quiet fog, which is scary. You long for a lesson to learn but at the same time there’s all these deep emotions and thoughts that are interfering with this possibility. It is a process, a journey, and you’ve been taking some majors steps on it by just expressing how things are for you today when you face the silence. Not everyone is willing to admit the things they regret, and maybe this was also the case for you X years or months ago. Somehow, you are growing and learning from it, but it may be done at a different pace or in a different way that you would expect at first.
Ultimately, we’re only human beings and we will make mistakes, fall down and fail at times. It’s okay to feel any emotion that comes with it, and it’s okay to choose to learn from it rather than letting it dictate our emotional world. If you rushed in the past when you shouldn’t have, maybe it was the only way you could proceed at the time. Today, you have the awareness and knowledge that things could have been done differently. But maybe at the time you were also just trying to navigate life as you could. This past version of you is deserving of compassion and understanding, just like you would with someone you love. There is, indeed, potential for you to reconcile these parts of your story with who you are today – to be grateful both for what you have learned since then, for who you’ve become, but also for the way you’ve been trying to survive and serve yourself in the past. <3