Life has been balanced so far. It had many ups and downs so far. I have moments that I will cherish my whole life and then there are moments/incidents which I don’t want to remember ever. But, the thing I miss most is my ex girlfriend. I miss her everyday, no matter how far I go she is still here. She did the worst with me but nothing could take away my love her. I loved her the most, I gave her everything and in return she cheated me for another guy. There was nothing I could do to make her stay with me but left a void nobody could fill so far, after her I had a another relationship that I was serious about but she got married. Life would have been totally different had she been with me. Even today if I see her I don’t have the courage to face her that’s how it is. She gave me the scar I couldn’t heal, the pain I couldn’t forget and the loneliness forever. I wish I could go back to the time and take out the moment but I know it’s ain’t gonna happen so let it be as it as and carry this burden with myself that this loneliness wouldn’t go away…
I know it might not feel like it right now but your ex girlfriend did not deserve you. If she cheated on you and treated you bad she was not good for you. I know you loved her but she might not have felt as strongly about you. Please try not to waste tears and your love on a person who did not treat you right and who has hurt you so much. You deserve better.
It sounds like she lost out on having a very decent and devoted partner. I know it hurts like hell. You fell in love with the person you believed her to be. You saw and admired things about her that were in reality projections of your own admirable nature.
Different? Yes, but far from better. The illusion of who you thought her to be would not last.
The scar will remain, and become an integral part of who you are. It also brings wisdom, empathy, and a heightened appreciation for a relationship that does work. The scar and the pain becomes a whisper, telling you to be careful and not be like her.
It’s okay to love her, and miss her, but it’s important to accept the reality of who she is and the much greater pain that would have occurred if the relationship had lasted longer. It may be hard to understand this in the moment, but ultimately, you will. Really, you miss who you imagined her to be, not who she is.
It takes time to truly understand someone. Sudden infatuation and collapsing into a relationship rarely leads to a good long-term partnership.
There is a powerful drive to be with someone. It’s in our DNA. Yet, aloneness is manageable, if not ideal. The benefit to cultivating the ability to be okay with aloneness, is that when you do get together with someone, you can be with that person because the relationship is fulfilling, rather than being with an individual simply because you need to be with “someone or anyone.” It really is better to be alone than to be in a desperate, insecure, clingy, and unhealthy relationship.
You are obviously a decent and passionate person, and you deserve a stable relationship that fulfills you. I believe that you will find someone attractive, loving, and comparable.
I get it that life has go to on with or without someone and we have to accept the Setbacks that we aren’t ready to face. Thanks for your lovely and meaningful advice
You are still grieving. It may or may not be a process that would last for a lifetime and sometimes not knowing that perspective is scary, overwhelming. What is sure though, is that each day you keep moving on, you are learning to live with this scar. A loss is about learning a way to live with the void someone left one way or another. There’s life how it was before the loss, and life as it is afterwards. It takes time to learn to compose with the pain in a way that wouldn’t be paralyzing. As you’ve acknowledged, setbacks are real and part of the process. Our heart doesn’t choose to stop loving suddenly. So there is this distortion between how we feel and what we know as being true from a rational standpoint. It hurts. It is even devastating sometimes. But as human beings we are resilient too. We grow from these pain. We learn from our burdens. We fill the absence with something new, without rejecting the reality of what happened.
You know already how it goes. Though I hope with all my heart that you remain patient with yourself, as much as possible. Sometimes the need to feel something different is so strong that we can end up being unfair to ourselves. Grace, patience and compassion are needed so it doesn’t add any more pain to the pain itself.
How you feel is profoundly human. It is real, valid and understandable. Take it easy. Take your time. Keep balancing feeling and reflecting on this process, as it allows you to acknowledge this inner life of yours, but also to not let it drown you.
You are loved dearly. Regardless of what happened with her, and no matter how things are going in the future.
Things occasionally get too heavy but i try to not to let them distract me from the fact that not everyone is supposed to be forever. We just can’t control everything in our lives , we need to adjust according to demands and keep on striving for better.
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