Therapist analyzes Su!cIde by Ren

@HeartSupport - Music to Improve Your mindset This song was a lot for me personally. I watched my mom struggle with mental health from the time I was 7 all the way up until she ultimately died by suicide when I was 20. When I first heard it and the song got to the outro I just started crying. The way that he perfectly articulated the whirlwind of emotions that I went through when it happened was almost scarry. I’ve never felt so seen and like someone out there just gets it. I’m still struggling a little over 2 years after my mom died but things like this make it just a little bit easier. I’m so glad I came to this reaction as well because you also understand and your reaction again made me feel seen and finally convicted me to get some therapy I don’t really know where to start but I’m ready to start trying to heal at least some. Ever since my mom died my life has been kind of down hill but over the past month I’ve been trying to get back up and this song and reaction could not have come at a better time. Thank you for the video and for sharing your story as well.

edit: (same day) I actually went to your website and signed up to get a mentor I’m really glad I found your channel hopefully this is the start of something good. I know it probably won’t happen but I hope I get you :slight_smile:

@HeartSupport My nephew was kicked out of his home on his 18th birthday for getting drunk. He bounced around houses and got into trouble but still managed to find a place to permanently live, with me. He had a lot of very well hidden depression that he never ever talked about. I went grocery shopping one day and came to find him hanging in my closet. My life was shattered. There hanging was my best friend in this world. Needless to say, ended up with PTSD over it and then started struggling with my own suicidal ideations added onto my already present panic disorder. Life has been a struggle for me but I’m still here despite the horribleness because leaving this world means that someone who loves me as much as I loved my nephew will go through the same thing and simply repeat the cycle. I will end that cycle by living. I share very similarities with Ren. I did get bit by a tick but instead of lyme disease that brought about my psychosis it was just simply there, the tick on the other hand gave me alpha-gal syndrome. I’m allergic to all mammals now and any byproduct of animals. This is mostly okay, though. You mentioned guilt in this and there is a lot of guilt with suicide. I had to go through grief counseling and be drilled to death about it not possibly being my fault but I’m not sure if I ever truly believe that. Wish I could.

A ti te gusta que te llamen gordita?

You should definitely react to for Joe

Was looking through your stuff. Don’t think you’ve reacted to “Rise Above This” by Seether.
It would be perfect for this channel.

please react to his song dominos

Dear, I also lost friends for suicide and worst, I almost lost my life to suicide… I understand the desperation, that drove me into (almost) it and the worst of all, the impotence when received the news about someone who sucseeded, I understand your tears and thank you for being there to help saving those souls.

REN’s ability to bring to the light what most run from. Is absolutely one of the most courageous things I’ve ever seen. I’ve suffered before, honestly I still am. Internally I have a huge desire to help people. What I never did was give up. Even when my head played against me. Pain is a monster that will take everything from you!!! I’m four years out from planning my suicide. Four day’s after I planned it. I had a surgery that removed it from me. I’m almost a new person now. For two and a half decades I wasn’t. I swam in the darkness for a while. In 2014 I tore scar tissue. That is pain on a level I’ve never felt. I spent over six years disappointed every morning I woke. There couldn’t be a god who wouldn’t answer my prayers. If I were a dog. People would say that’s so humane to put it down. Yet I had to live through it. I’m here I’m alive and about 90 pounds lighter. How do I help anyone? That’s what will make me feel better honestly. If I only helped one person that’s enough!!

I wish i can give you a hug and wipe away your tears as they trickle down your face 9:09

P.S. listen to his chapters. You will get some real insight!

I think it was so real for him, if you listen to his chapters about what went on with him throughout his illness and recovery, he mentions he had been thinking about committing suicide at this time, not being able to deal with his illness. But he said that after Joe committed suicide, he saw the effects this action had on his friends and love ones, and Ren couldn’t his family through that. He said he prayed to God and told him that if you want me to die then it will be by your hand, not mine! I can’t do it!

It doesn’t matter how many times i listen to this song…i ALWAYS cry😢

Nice to have found your channel. I discovered Ren when Hi Ren broke out, and became a fan. Revisiting some of these songs hit pretty hard. Music truly is the language of emotion.

I think you would enjoy the reimagined version of Last Resort by Falling In Reverse. The song gains a whole new dimension.

On a more personal note, I’ve found the Moonflowers album by Swallow the Sun to be incredibly helpful as a conduit of darker emotions. Their guitarist lost his wife some years ago, and that album is basically about the feelings of loss, sorrow, despair etc… And so very relatable to anyone who has had to deal with darker periods.

Appreciate you.

Please talk to me…

hey, i’m sorry about your friend. I lost one last december to this and i resonate with what you say. I think it’s beautiful that it pushed you to become a therapist, that means you don’t want anyone else to go through what you did, and that made me tear up. Amazing reaction, keep doing what you are doing, and I hope you are okay. And anyone reading this, if you feel like giving up and you cant find a reason to stay, just try and hold onto the fact that leaving will pass what you feel to everyone you love with a dose of guilt. I love you all