Hi everyone,
there’s no other way to say this but everything is really great. School is going as intended, work is perfect and I also started writing for a sports magazine. I’ve always wanted to be a journalist and I’m working towards that, so this is huge.
Home feels ok, it’s nothing spectacular, but i learned not to argue and Even if I want to go live somewhere else (because independence) it’s no big deal. I also got access to the car so i can finally drive again. I stopped driving after a serious accident last year, but I stepped on the car yesterday and I have done nothing else but driving since then. I just feel at home while driving, it’s like I was made for that.
Yesterday I decided to stop by a town nearby. There was a huge event which I used to go to every summer. I was never alone back then, and it felt horribly weird when I stepped off the car. It was like everything had changed. I strolled my way through the streets, ate ice cream, attended a jazz concert, bought some sodas, bought some sweets and did it all over again. I eventually reached a small alleyway where I met a couple of people celebrating their birthday and ended up drinking with them. It was all so weird but it came out to be perfectly fine. I’m used to going out alone but I’m always suprised how anxiety and fear mean almost nothing when things like these happen. If you’re stuck in your house because of this, just step outside. I know it’s terrifying but everything can happen.
I still feel alone sometimes. Not emotionally, but physically. I have friends and people checking on me and always have someone to talk with, but I often miss the physical company of someone who could do all these things with me. Every friend I have lives pretty far from when I live, also I don’t know a lot of interesting people around here. Going out alone is ok (also great) but some things are better done with company, and I surely miss that. I really need a friend (male or female is the same) but I can’t seem to find one. This is the only thing that’s not going great right now.
Love is another serious matter but i believe it to be ok. I’m still single, I don’t wanna be anymore honestly, but I feel free to love again. I met a girl in uni: I had seen her around before, but something happened a few days after. I was outside the library talisman to some guys, and she was walking to get in. She turned her head to look at me and the door hit her face. I laughed pretty hard honestly, but that short eye contact struck me hard. I can’t stop thinking about her since then, but unfortunately I haven’t had the chance to meet her again. I k ow her social media but I honestly don’t want to text her because she doesn’t look like the type. She looks weird but beautiful to me. She is a tall, redhead, odd-walking girl but I seriously never felt this way in years. That is the good thing about all of this: I’ll be needing a little bit of luck for a chance to meet her again, but the fact that I’m not with feelings from past experiences is already good itself.
This is the end of my long uninteresting post. Hope it helps someone. I’ve been feeling unworthy all my life, but perseverance is paying off. This is the best I’ve ever been and it’s only getting better from here. I hope all of this comes to you soon.
I appreciate any opinion, advice, reply, etc
Love
