Hello heihei06
I’m a suicide survivor, I have been to the pysch ward a number of times, and I have been on almost every medication to exist for depression, and other things. I personally believe that medication is just a tool, and in the end we need to find the underlying issues of what it is we are going through, and how we can learn to deal with/cope with these things. That isn’t to say that I don’t think it is a useful tool, I do. But there are also so many kinds of medications, and a lot of times it can take a lot of trial and error figuring out which ones are going to work for you as an individual. I believe once you find something that works, that it can be very helpful in giving you more space to figure out what you are going through, and what you can do to feel better. Not all therapists and therapies are going to be right for you either. It took me a bit to find the right one for me, one who would advocate for me and connected with me in a way that was impactful.
Both of these things. Medication, and the right therapists share one thing in common. They don’t all work, for all people, and you have to be willing to stand your ground and advocate for yourself when you are not getting results from something. If a medication is not working, and has not been working from the start, and you have been on it for awhile. You need to be persistent in telling your health professionals that it is not working, and you think you need to try something else. Same with a therapists. If the Therapist or Psychologist you are seeing is not connecting with you, and is not helping you in any way. You need to be persistent in stating that you would like to see someone else, and try a different Therapist. This is called Self-Advocacy, and it is a very big part of Mental Health and getting better. I would encourage you to do a search on Self-Advocacy skills and what it means to truly Self-advocate well for yourself. As it is very important when trying to get better.
One side of self-advocacy that can be quite hard is one that you are discussing having trouble doing. You have to find the courage and strength to talk to people about what it is you are going through. I didn’t learn how to do this until I was an adult in my late 20’s being forced to do so in an inpatient setting, but ever since I have been sharing with pretty much anyone, and everyone who will listen to what it is I go through. When the topic arises, I speak up. I wish I would have learned at a younger age that it is okay for me to share these things, even with the people who care about me. Such as family. It may hurt them a bit to hear these things, but that is only because they care and are empathetic towards your situation. More often then not, they would rather hear and know what you are going through, so that they can try to support you. Then to not know, and realize later that you had been suffering so badly the whole time, and were too afraid to tell them. I’m not sure that it matters who the adult, or person is that you are telling, as much as it matters that they are responsible and understanding. That it is a safe space, and that they are someone who can actually try to help and guide you to the right resources. For some people the Mental Health Professional is the only person they let in on the things they are going through internally, and this is also okay, but sharing it all is an important part of the process of healing, and learning to get better.
As for the Pysch Ward. I think that this can be very situational, Depending on the area you live in, and the quality of the place you would be staying. I am blessed to have a very good mental health facility in my city. Even then though, when I was first ending up there, I was struggling a lot, not because of the quality of the place I was in, but because of my own inability to want to be there/denial that I needed to be there in the first place. It’s not a place where you are given freedom to do as you please, and leave at your leisure. Though there is a commons area with TV and activities. There is group therapy, and specialists who come through. Doctors, Psychologists, The works, at mine. As I became more accepting of myself, and as I realized my needs better. It became a very viable option to me, for if I was feeling crisis that felt like it could lead to a life threatening situation for myself. It also became a place that was very bearable for me to be in, and that I felt very comfortable in being in, because the quality of mine is actually quite high. If you are gonna fight being there, and be upset if you aren’t allowed to leave at your own leisure. It might not be the best place to be at first, but if you are accepting of your situation and are actually trying to get better, I think it can be a good place to be in times of deep crisis. In the instance of a life threatening situation, it is a place that will be able to keep you safe for the time being, while you try to figure things out. So if your life is at risk, it is a good regardless in my opinion. It is now one of the first things my mind starts to turn to if I have start to feel deeply suicidal and panicked/out of control emotionally. It also could bring you to find new leads to new professionals, counselors, therapists, and psychologists. Mental health professionals basically, and maybe you might find one there that is more suited to helping you, then the ones you have found before.
I hope some of this helps, I know that it can be very hard to do some of these things, and very scary. But we here believe in your ability to get better, and I hope that you can find ways to feel even a tiny bit of relief in the time being. Please feel free to share more with us if you want/need. <3
