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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Save Me by Jelly Roll
This is how i feel right know ive been trying to ask my girlfriend of 3 almost 4 years to marry me but i dont feel worthy of happiness i lost my dad 5 years ago and ever since ive been in a dark place and dont know how to crawl out of it
Thank you for sharing your story,
I am sorry to hear of you struggle and how difficult it is to get out to the more happier place for you. This time going through loss of your dad is incredibly heavy and it is normal to feel weight of that, even if it takes time.
All of your emotions are valid, they matter and even if you struggle right now, you are still worth of feeling right, being in the place with your girlfriend and feeling all the warm, deep, positive emotions.
Seems your girlfriend is there for you for years - that tells the connection between you, for who you are, for what partner or child you are. We dont have to be perfect, without struggles to deserve love and happiness. You are just “fine” the way you are, and she is there, which tells much about both of you 
Please remember that the dark place, while you think of your dad shows how much he mattered to you, and it takes time and support to go through this. There is no simple solution, timeframe to get in better spot, but small steps like this one, sharing your emotions is something that helps 
I am sure with the support around, your bravery in opening up about your emotions, the way how you express them and knowing what you want - you will get there. You have that strength, resilience and direction to know what to do and it just takes time. Please be kind to yourself, to let you feel your emotions and being a human
Let me here send you a virtual hug 
as i do have my all faith in you.
Matt
Hi,
Thanks so much for opening up. We wanted to share a request from a Jellyroll fan that was similar to yours. They said:
Good news and just things are troubling us. Well weve known eachother for 3 months, became official in 1 month 15 days and just at our 3 months of knowing eacother i proposed and she said yes. We dont think its anytime soon how we are engaged but we cant figure when to get married this yeat november or next year in december
Well theres issues, we met my pastor and wife they took me in for a few years of my life gave me a life i never had 9 years ago, just was put of my life for 6 years barely involved. Its the same as my Dad is isnt very good in life she met them both and we were judged constantly. And the sad part is i came there hoping they wouldnt reach my expectations of that and they really ditd and things became worse than i thought they would go. Just have a realistic veiw on things because of going through these hard times of 6 years and drugs, overcoming issues and temtpations.
I tried to be very veg and the worst thing of all. We fell short, even last night and this morning. We got so into our desires because we were engaged and thought it was ok. We werent thinking clearly just with all our emotions and we beat ourselves up for the mistake. Im thinking how can God love us from this mistake weve committed ya know
If it’s helpful, here’s what one of our repliers wrote in response to them:
It’s understandable to fear his wrath when you are told that you did something wrong, or when it feels like it. Your fiance and you are allowed to be humans and to love each other. God will keep loving you even when you fail, and even when you think you failed. Somehow it’s the beauty of unconditional love. It doesn’t enable things that would be objectively wrong, like hurting someone. But it gives you grace when you are not giving it to yourself. <3
Thank you for your courage.
-HeartSupport