Call this attention seeking… call this selfish but I’m done! I’m over it. And I just can’t do it anymore! Nothing can feel this void that’s been haunting me for the last several months. The best way I can sum up these ways that I’m feeling is that I’m just not safe anywhere! This anxiety and my past relationship is eating me alive, and I have no reason to continue a fight and a battle that i can’t win. He won… my ex won… and that’s all he wanted. He’s gone but yet still controls me. Sure it seems simple enough to block him, but when he makes new accounts to contact me there’s nothing I can do!
I’m done and I’m tired. I’ve distanced myself from everyone for two reasons! So I don’t hurt you and so you don’t hurt me. I have no worth or reasoning on this earth and I’m over it. This is a community that I love so much, but I hope the people who come after me will be impacted as greatly as I am and once was.
I wish I could have listened and believed the words I’ve heard in this community and not the lies my ex have fed me for so long. The lies that I replay in my head over and over and over again… and I just sit here wondering, when will I ever be good enough. This void in my life can’t be filled. I’ve tried… drugs, sleeping around, relationships, pills, self harm, working out… nothing… nothing will fill this void. So i give up on trying.
Hold Fast… You’re worth it…