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Belongs to: Therapist analyzes Su!cIde by Ren
This is the first time I’ve heard this song my best friend I was in the army with killed himself the part where he said “we felt like we were indestructible” reminded me of him ngl I cried
I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. It’s hard to tell how a person feels until the point they killed themselves. They may appear happy on the outside but inside they struggled with mental health issues. You did the best you can to support and love your friend in the army. It’s okay to take time to grief for a long time. Humans are always kind of sensitive and emotional. We can’t act tough all the time.
Your reaction shows just how much your friend meant to you, and these tears that you had are a reflection of this beautiful and strong affection.
I imagine how those memories of your friend come back when you hear that song. It’s not just about the loss of your friend but also about the loss of that time in your life when you felt strong and unstoppable together. Like nothing could stop you. But once death hits us in such a way, it feels like our own world is turned upside down entirely. Nothing feels the same anymore, with everything and everyone appearing so fragile, so vulnerable.
There is a before and an after where life is just not the same anymore. After losing your friend so brutally, a part of your own innocence was taken away from you. It makes completely sense that this part of the music resonates so very deeply with you. It’s a harsh wake-up call to how vulnerable we really are, and it’s a lot to process. The world can feel a lot less secure and a lot more unpredictable while navigating the realms of grief. Everything changes, and the sense of safety and certainty you once felt is overshadowed by grief and the reality of what happened.
Hearing that song and being reminded of your friend certainly brings a mix of emotions - sadness, longing, maybe even anger at the unfairness of it all. Those memories are a reminder of the good times you’ve shared together, but they also brings you back to feeling his absence all over again. If tears need to be part of it, then it’s okay to let them be. You are allowed to let it all out, to feel what needs to be felt, and you are always welcome to share about your pain here. Sending much hugs your way. 